Chris Daly, Bartender: Our Top-10 Predictions
|Welcome to Daly's Dive! Fuck you!|
Still, the notion of "Chris Daly, small-business owner" struck us as somewhat astounding. Here are our top-10 predictions for amazing future developments at "Daly's Dive," aka "Fairfield West":
10. Nightly ejection of Daly's former constituents
9. What's on the menu? Whatever the SEIU wants to be on the menu.
8. "Hello Mr. Daly. I have a message from Chief Gascon: 'Fuck you, too.'"
7. Daly develops a deeper appreciation for his three passions: Liquor, politics, and liquor.
6. Top score entries in bar's Donkey Kong machine: "GG, CD, CD, CD, CD." Fuck you, Gascon.
5. Vibrant discussions about what drink a true progressive drinks.
4. An alarming number of patrons will simply walk in, head to the restroom, piss on the floor, and leave. And an alarming percentage of these people will be property owners and/or Willie Brown.
3. Daly skirts possible alcohol fee to fund city detox centers by claiming his bar is a detox center.
2. Drinks to be named after San Francisco political figures: The "Gavin Newsom" will be one ounce of light beer in a 16-ounce glass. But it'll be a beautiful glass.
1. If Daly loses an argument, he'll walk out of his own bar.
SPECIAL BONUS JOKE: Chris Daly's bar becomes city officials' favorite place to violate The Brown Act.