Sexpert: Handcuffs For 'Kinky Fun,' Not For San Jose Sex Police
But San Francisco Sexpert Carol Queen says this dude got it all wrong: Handcuffs are for kink, Officer Not-So-Sex-Friendly. Not hauling poor pubescent boys off to jail.
"In a sex-positive world, handcuffs are something grownups use to have kinky fun, and in the real world, parents who are punitive about teenagers' burgeoning sexuality lose their kids' trust - often forever," wrote Queen, the founding director of the Center for Sex & Culture, in an e-mail to the Weekly.
"Teenagers who are interested in sexuality on any level, from curiosity about how it all works to how to safely explore love and pleasure, don't need to be 'scared straight' by cops real or fake," she continues. And yet, both the 15-year-old boy allegedly cuffed and berated by the "Sex Cop" and the cop's stepdaughter were charged with "unlawful sexual intercourse." If found guilty, however, they will not have to register as sex offenders.
"What they need," Queen opines, "is good solid sex education that helps them make the decisions that are right for them, and they need supportive parents to help them develop the values and boundaries that are the most appropriate for their stage of development."
Hmm, I'm guessing my mom reading me a story when I was in middle school about how chickens have eggs and humans do, too, didn't quite meet this standard. Yet somehow after reading about the questionable parenting -- and policing -- from the San Jose cop, that angst-inducing episode seems pretty forgivable.
Queen says the San Jose's Sex Cop was really just creating tomorrow's Cop Hater. "If that officer wanted to start the young man on 'the wrong path' of fearing and despising authority figures, it looks like he did exactly the thing that might guarantee it."
Bottom line: Papa don't preach. Just lend me your handcuffs.
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