Jurist, Teabagger, Porn King: The Ravings of Conservative Nutjobs Against Vaughn Walker

Categories: LGBT, Politics
Photo illustration | Audrey Fukuman
Right-wing loons likened Judge Vaughn Walker to a porn impresario
U.S. District Court Judge Vaughn Walker's decision overturning Proposition 8 is, by the reckoning of most sensible observers, a masterpiece of judicial prose and reasoning. As such, it has been greeted by conservative extremists in the manner you would expect -- with a cacophony of anti-gay jokes.

It's been an open secret for eons among lawyers and politicians that Walker is gay, although the first fact-based reporting of his sexual orientation was published in the San Francisco Chronicle earlier this year. In the wake of Walker's ruling yesterday that Prop. 8's ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional, it's not surprising that an army of right-wing haters and illiterates has risen up overnight to denounce him, by turns, as a pornographer; a communist; and, um, a dude who likes to dip his balls in your mouth.

Here, then, Snitch readers, are a few highlights from the flood of vitriol Walker loosed with his eloquent defense of civil rights:

"I guess it would be safe to say that Judge Walker just "tea-bagged" 53% of California voters. Take THAT, CALIFORNIA!" -- Commenter "blr," in a post on fireandreamitchell.com

"His situation is no different than a judge who owns a porn studio being asked to rule on an anti-pornography statute. He'd have to recuse himself on conflict of interest grounds, and Judge Walker should have done that." -- American Family Association President Tim Wildmon, via rawstory.com

"Would this judge say that consenting adult polygamists' due process and equal protection rights are being violated right now? Wouldn't it be hypocritical of this judge to apply this ruling to consenting adult homosexuals, but not consenting adult polygamists?" -- Laissez-Faire Capitalist, on freerepublic.com

"If this ruling is upheld, millions of Americans will face for the first time a legal system that is committed to the view that our deeply held moral views on sex and marriage are unacceptable in the public square, the fruit of bigotry that should be discredited, stigmatized and repressed. Parents will find that, almost Soviet-style, their own children will be re-educated using their own tax dollars to disrespect their parents' views and values." -- Maggie Gallagher of the National Organization for Marriage writing in the Chronicle

"The majority of Californians -- and two-thirds of black voters in California -- have just had their core civil right to vote for marriage stripped from them by an openly gay federal judge who has misread history and the Constitution to impose his San Francisco views on the American people." -- Bishop Harry Jackson of the High Impact Leadership Coalition

Alas! The End Times are near, fellow Americans. The Fourth Seal has opened, and before us is a pale horse. Its rider is Vaughn Walker, and communists, polygamists, Hugh Hefner, and Leonid Brezhnev follow with him. Take it from we in San Francisco who know -- it's not going to be so bad.

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