Palm Reader Foe Writes Angriest City Hall Petition Ever

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Matt Smith illustration
... and I'm not going to take it anymore.
San Franciscans have many reasons to be angry at City Hall, what with service cutbacks, fee hikes, and daily tales of inefficiency and incompetence. But The Snitch's Angriest San Francisco City Hall Petitioner Ever directs his venom at an unlikely target: supposedly sub-standard palm-reading.

"You provide an imaginary service that should be shut down," writes Tim Giangiobbe in a recent letter to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors describing his feelings about the supposed shortcomings of a local palm reader. "You have gone beyond the bounds of human decency. You are lower than sub-scum. The slimy stuff you find under scum. There is not a scum category for you. I will now make one up especially for you. The super slimy sub-scum bovine queen liar thief of the decade. Still too nice. I'll work on it."

We'll not identify the palmist in question because, well, we have no evidence this person did anything wrong. Giangiobbe, for his part, identifies no specific slight. 

But we will publish excerpts here -- complete with cartoon illustrations Giangiobbe sent to clarify his points to the Board of Supervisors' -- as a roadmap for petitioners furious about problems our city fathers might actually be in a position to solve. Giangiobbe unwittingly provided a useful template for San Franciscans so mad at City Hall they're about to faint, but aren't sure how to start venting.

You are lower than sub-scum. The slimy stuff you find under scum. There is not a scum category for you. I will now make one up especially for you. The super slimy sub-scum bovine queen liar thief of the decade. Still too nice. I'll work on it."

With a little cutting and pasting, readers disappointed with SF politicians and government administrators can use Gienbiobbe's example to fight back.

Our petitioner begins his illustrated missive announcing his foe's offense: claiming to be all-knowing. Take note future City Hall petitioners: This is something city bureaucrats have also been wont to do. Again, the following images were all included in Gienbiobbe's letter to the supes. Yes, really.

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Of course she claims to know all: She's a palm reader


The art of palmistry, some people have claimed over the years, involves showmanship and controversial claims of occult powers. Doesn't politics, too?


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Many have accused politicians of being pigs at a trough. Citizens petitioning City Hall can add emphasis by including an illustration.

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It is popularly believed that politics can be ugly. Angry citizens can exploit this sentiment with ad-hominem attacks in the "you're so ugly..." vein.


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And Yo mama is so ugly that when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said, "sorry, no professionals."



Another promising tactic: Place your City Hall foe in the same category as lawyers. Everyone hates lawyers.

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And when all else fails, try taunting.

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Follow us on Twitter at @TheSnitchSF and @SFWeekly

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