49ers Beat Colts -- Preseason Bettors Rejoice!

A great tackle by ... that guy!

​Not long before the San Francisco 49ers took the field in Indianapolis to rout the Colts, your humble narrator received a curious communique in his inbox. It was an a preview of the contest written exclusively for people who had decided to wager their hard-earned money on the NFL preseason opener.

I understand the motivation behind exotic piercings. I understand kite surfing. I understand having dangerous animals as pets who are incapable of expressing gratitude or affection. I cannot understand betting on preseason football.

For 85 percent of a preseason football game -- and, in the preseason opener, perhaps even more -- men will be lining up across from one another that both coaches pray will never be playing a crucial snap all season long. Top starters sweat out only a series or two, if that, and soon give way to the second-, third-, and fourth-stringers playing for their professional lives. The only resemblance a preseason opener has to a standard NFL game is the uniforms -- and yesterday's contest didn't even have that. The Colts were decked out in nondescript 1955 throwback uniforms that looked like something you'd find on a Pee-Chee folder.

Team Pee-Chee came second on Sunday...

​So while it was entertaining to see the guys in the 49ers uniforms beat Team Pee-Chee, it's hard to put much meaning behind it -- let alone, money. Those with a true need to wager on the outcome of the game might be well-advised to do what compulsive Super Bowl bettors do -- bet on the coin flip. It's no less random than wagering on preseason football -- and you won't have to sit through four quarters of the sporting equivalent of a "table read."

Follow us on Twitter at @TheSnitchSF and @SFWeekly