Top Five BP Oil Spill Conspiracies

You see? You see who's benefiting?

​The Deep Water Horizon's ongoing ruination of the Gulf Coast is one of the worst accidents in the history of humanity. But wait! Some people -- as some people always do -- aren't willing to concede this was an accident. This was ... a conspiracy!

Here's five that, we promise, we did not make up:









1. God is mad.
​Each time a relatively large-scale problem occurs, certain Christians tell us it's a sign of God's wrath, a pact with the devil, or a harbinger of the impending apocalypse. Why would the oil spill be any different? And who says certain Christians are wrong? Certainly not the governor of Texas.  2. Obama wants the spill to get worse.
​When you think about it (while on certain drugs), the oil spill is actually a dream come true for President Obama. The worse the spill gets, the better the chance Obama has of imposing a carbon tax on the American people. Just another great example of our nefarious leader capitalizing on disaster, right Rep. Broun?

3. The entire world will be wiped out. Seriously.
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There's no way to say this better. "BP's Deepwater Horizon drilling operation may have triggered an irreversible, cascading geological Apocalypse that will culminate with the first mass extinction of life on Earth in many millions of years."

4. The spill will create a second Bermuda Triangle.
​According to Richard Hoagland, a gas large gas bubble may form beneath the spill that's similar to the one suspected to exist beneath the Bermuda Triangle. Then, it could explode underwater. By the way, Hoagland isn't a scientist and he doesn't play one on TV.

5. A Kremlin report says we have to nuke that sucka.
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