The Week in Gay: Prop. 8 Trial Slam-Dunk! Elton Is Worse Than We Thought! San Francisco Attacked by Bad Gay Films!

Categories: LGBT, Queer
In the movies
The Frameline34 film festival celebrated opening night with a premiere at the Castro Theater Sunday, followed by booze and wine and liquor and drinks and dancing out in the avenues.

Of course, not all of the films are bad -- some of them have promise.

Closing night features James Franco in the film Howl, a biopic about Allen Ginsberg. Franco's presence in one film makes all the marginal films worthy of at least one additional star. Sigh.

Ubiquitous news of the week: Closing arguments were heard in the Prop. 8 trial Wednesday in San Francisco. Heading into the day of drama Andrew Pugno, the attorney for the proponents of Prop. 8, declared that he wants Judge Walker to revoke the 18,000 marriage licenses that were issued in the 5 months that this fucking state recognized same-sex marriage. He obviously made that statement just because he wanted to be a prick (which comes naturally to him), since defendants generally aren't the party which makes demands in a trial.

The best quote from the trial itself came from Judge Walker in response to the pro Prop 8 claim that everyone hates the idea of same-sex marriage. Walker said, "If you have 7 million Californians, 70 judges, and this long history, why in this case did you present but one witness? ... You had a lot to choose from. One witness, and it was fair to say his testimony was equivocal." How can a decision in favor of Prop. 8 be handed down when there wasn't a defense presented? Might as well just get ready for a Ninth US Circuit Court of Appeals (also in San Francisco) hearing at this point.

Spotted at the trial was the gorgeous doyenne of hysterical marriage supremacy, Maggie Gallagher. There were reports that Gallagher was asked to remove her bare (and probably calloused) feet from the chair where she had them propped up to reduce swelling (relieves pressure on corns). Why do I picture her extracting chunks of pork from between her overcrowded teeth using a matchbook cover while she farts? I can picture it, really I can.

SFGate reports that the next steps of this trial, if they proceed as expected, could result in a US Supreme Court decision sometime in 2012. How will that coordinate with Equality California's (EQCA) decision to seek a repeal of Prop. 8 at the ballot that year? Hmmm.

Coincidentally (if you are extremely gullible), a study was released this week that helped EQCA emphasize the urgency of converting the redneck gay haters in California as soon as possible. This would be an excellent way for EQCA to raise money for the stagecoachfull of gays it will parade through the Central Valley. We must act now! Please ignore the fact that a major contributor to EQCA was also behind the funding of the study released this week.

On to more entertaining examples of conflicts of interest, Elton John's standing as the Shithead of the Year spiked yet again this week. Not only did he sing at Rush Limbaugh's fourth wedding (his FOURTH), but it was also revealed this week that the pastor officiating over this tradition-busting farce was Washington State's asshole Ken Hutchinson.

So, Elton -- if we gave President Barack Obama grief over his choice of Rick Warren as pastor on inauguration day, what makes you think you can hang out with a gaggle of homophobes? Your partner claims that you are a bridge-builder. Rush and Ken think you are a fudgepacker. I think you are a whore.

Not everyone is corrupt or questionably conflicted -- at least not where activist art is concerned. Check out this rendition of the pope officiating over a same-sex marriage. If it came in velvet, I'd have it hanging over my raggedy old futon couch.

Another interesting little moment of in-your-face confrontation this week comes from Sam Seder in his video clip response to the ongoing ban on blood donations from men who have sex with men. Isn't blood from every donor screened, anyway? Or does the Red Cross assume that everyone that walks through the door and opens up a blood vessel is a fucking virgin and isn't lying when asked about sex? "Oh no, I haven't ever sucked a cock, but I do fuck anonymous women in the ass twice a week without a condom. But cocksucking? Hells to the no!"

That's enough for now. All of this talk about blood and futons and callouses is making me hungry.

Patrick Connors is an uppity fag who doesn't want to donate blood or money to anyone in the first place. Follow him on Twitter at @UppityFag

Follow us on Twitter at @TheSnitchSF and @SFWeekly
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