Clumsy Attempts to Smuggle Booze Into A's Games Actually Benefit Needy Kids

The other day, we queried the San Francisco Giants about the fate of the cans and bottles of libations seized by stadium employees from hapless fans entering the stadium. It turns out the answer is about as thrilling as the team's play of late: They pour them out and recycle them.

Across the bay in Oakland, however, the destiny of the Tall Boy can of Miller High Life you attempted to walk into the Coliseum is far different, however. Amazingly, your inept attempts to ferry beer into an Oakland Athletics contest actually benefit local students. Really. Here's how that works.

When idiots are caught toting bottles and cans of soda or booze, says David Rinetti, the Oakland Athletics' vice president of stadium operations, the offending receptacles are tossed into a plastic trash bucket. At this point the team washes its hands of your former possessions.

After games, however, members of Civicorps Schools come by and collect the contents of those recycling buckets (Civicorps is contracted by the city of Oakland, Oakland Fire Department, and private businesses to gather recyclable material).

With the A's, the environmental/urban school outfit collects the cans et al. for free -- and then uses the money it gets recycling them to fund its programs. It's a win-win.

When asked if fans' inability to properly conceal alcohol actually leads to a net benefit for the city of Oakland, Rinetti conceded that, yes, it can. So if you were too incompetent to carry off the role of beer mule, worry not. Your shoddy work helped everyone out. Celebrate with a cold one -- from the concession stand, chump.
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