Clumsy Attempts to Smuggle Booze Into A's Games Actually Benefit Needy Kids
Across the bay in Oakland, however, the destiny of the Tall Boy can of Miller High Life you attempted to walk into the Coliseum is far different, however. Amazingly, your inept attempts to ferry beer into an Oakland Athletics contest actually benefit local students. Really. Here's how that works.
When idiots are caught toting bottles and cans of soda or booze, says David Rinetti, the Oakland Athletics' vice president of stadium operations, the offending receptacles are tossed into a plastic trash bucket. At this point the team washes its hands of your former possessions.
With the A's, the environmental/urban school outfit collects the cans et al. for free -- and then uses the money it gets recycling them to fund its programs. It's a win-win.
When asked if fans' inability to properly conceal alcohol actually leads to a net benefit for the city of Oakland, Rinetti conceded that, yes, it can. So if you were too incompetent to carry off the role of beer mule, worry not. Your shoddy work helped everyone out. Celebrate with a cold one -- from the concession stand, chump.
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