Hotels Duel For Sarah Palin's Business

Will these hotel offers bring Sarah Palin running?

​Earlier today we reported that the alleged super-secret tab for Sarah Palin's speaking engagement at CSU-Stanislaus is $93,000 -- including a fat $18,000 for transportation and accommodations.

We have nothing but fond memories of Turlock, Calif. -- but, without casting aspersions on the pleasant little town, it doesn't seem like a place where you need to disgorge vast quantities of money to bed down for the night. A quartet of Turlock hoteliers agreed, telling SF Weekly that, whatever the CSU-Stanislaus people are paying to put up Palin and her Alaskan entourage, they can do better. And with crepes!

"With our place here, I think I can make Sarah a better offer for one of our deluxe rooms," said Perry over at the Sunrise Inn. "We also have air purifiers in the rooms. For most people not used to this area, they could have allergies."

Perry says a room like this would set Palin back $68. She attended five colleges -- but, sadly, none of them was CSU-Stanislaus. Too bad: That would have gotten her a 30 percent discount. But Perry says he could still give her 20 percent off -- "I'll just take care of it." Fifty-four bucks, Sarah! And, yes, they serve crepes in the morning.

A hotelier says that -- wink, wink -- he'll give you a 20 percent discount, Sarah.

​However, Maria over at the Best Western Orchard Inn was conceding nothing. A deluxe suite -- and we think Palin's the sort to opt for top of the line -- would run $149.That comes with a microwave, refrigerator, in-room coffee, and an iron and ironing board. The continental breakfast has no crepes -- but it does come with sausage, eggs, and waffles. That's the kind of food real, hard-working, blue-collar Americans like to eat before pocketing $75,000 from a public university for a speech. 

But does the Best Western have the "bendable straws" Palin demands per her contract? When it was explained to Maria what "bendable straws" were, she noted that, no, they are not included as a room amenity. When asked why anyone would demand bendable straws, she admitted she did not know.

Over at the Fairfield Inn and Suites, Anna informed us she could put up Palin for $114. Since the hotel's hold message stated this was the place for us "whether you're looking for simple directions, a reliable wake-up call, or a tip on where to dine," we asked where they'd send Palin out for a bite to eat. Anna noted that the Red Robin, Sizzler, and Las Casuelas restaurant were all within easy walking distance. Sure, Palin's contract demands a fleet of SUVs. But, you know, who takes an SUV to the Red Robin?

Obligating contractual demands. By the way, did you know Palin comes up No. 1 on a Google search for 'contractual demands'? It's true.

​Finally, Jolene at the Candlewood Suites said she could put up Palin for $69 -- down from $129. "Definitely, as a VIP, we'd extend that to her." Sadly, however, there'll be no breakfast in the morning. At the Candlewood, rooms come with full kitchens. So Palin -- or some member of her entourage -- can stock up on the food, drinks, and bendy straws the politician desires. And if Palin wants to shed the SUV, the university is a quick ride on the BLaST (Bus Line Service of Turlock).

Still, Jolene doesn't hold out much hope Palin's people will be calling. When VIPs come through town, they tend to hit up the Doubletree in Modesto -- which even has a presidential suite. We're not sure if any presidents have come through. But we're told "various country singers" -- including Blake Shelton -- have enjoyed a stay there. Unless they slept in their tour buses.

Pity. You won't get good crepes on a bus.

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