'Pedophile Island' Proposed By California Gov. Candidate

​Is it just us, or does state politics have an unseemly apocalyptic tone these days? First we had "demon sheep" -- twice -- then "apostles of darkness." Now Republican gubernatorial candidate Douglas Hughes, an erstwhile unknown, has come forward with what just might be the wackiest millenarian campaign gimmick yet: A proposal to banish child predators to a new society called Pedophile Island off the coast of Santa Barbara."The 'Island' pedophiles will write their own 'Island' constitution," Hughes continues. "This 'Island' will represent a way of life that has long since been forgotten: one in which our forefathers came to this land with a wagon, some animals, seed, and tools, looking for water and land to build their lives around. These men will be provided these things so that they may keep themselves busy and build their own lives while staying out of trouble." We don't know what to say about this, except to speculate that officials with the National Park Service, which currently administers Santa Rosa Island -- Hughes' preferred site for his pedophile utopia -- may have some objections to the plan.