Bay Area Beard Luminary Jack Passion to Host National Facial Hair Championships

By Joe Eskenazi Wed., May 12 2010 at 4:59 PM

Categories: WTF?

Dave Mead

The real 'Epic Beard Man': Jack Passion

Jack Passion is, quite simply, the John C. Holmes of beards. The Walnut Creek native's facial hair resembles a rhododendron bush. He's the only person we know who could smuggle a bottle of champagne into a ballpark in his beard. And he's world class: The World Beard and Mustache Championships have become his own personal playground; he has outclassed other hairy men in the same way John Wooden's UCLA teams dominated college basketball.

Someone else will win the Best Full Beard Natural category at next month's National Beard and Mustache Championships. But that's only because Passion is stepping down; the Bay Area beard luminary will instead host the competition and allow someone else to compete for the title.

Wow -- he's the real Epic Beard Man

So, if you haven't shaved for a few years and resemble Tom Hanks at the end of Castaway -- this could be your big opportunity. The championships are in Bend, Ore. -- and will certainly be the event of the week -- on June 5. Book your hotel room early.

Passion has not yet returned SF Weekly's messages querying why he has decided to abdicate his rightful title.

If you can't win via sheer bulk as Passion does -- though his is a nuanced beard as well -- you can still take home money and glory in these categories: