Prop. 8 Trial -- Constipated No More

Categories: Queer
Thumbnail image for rsz_1rsz_h8_guy.jpg
Justice delayed is justice ... wait, what were we talking about?
Remember the Prop. 8 trial that started in San Francisco in January starring Judge Vaughn Walker (gay) and featuring David Boies (liberal) and Ted Olson (conservative)? The trial that has been on hiatus longer than the presentation of evidence?

It might actually start again.

We might know more sometime today.

Late on Tuesday the Milk of Magnesia managed to break down the rock-hard stool that has been lodged in the courtroom's colon for three months. Equality California (EQCA) and the ACLU were being pressured by Walker to produce internal documents shared during the 2008 campaign against Proposition 8. The organizations resisted and challenged the request but Walker wouldn't budge. On Monday, just before the constipation was eased, Walker threatened to fine the groups if they didn't produce the documents. If that isn't Milk of Magnesia, I don't know what is.

The threat of a $2,000 per day fine for every day of ongoing delay was enough pressure on EQCA to get it to relent. Always the politician (to the point of making people wonder if he really is human), Geoff Kors, Executive Director of EQCA, issued a statement so full of spin my hair blew while I read it (and I haven't had hair for over 10 years). In the memo Kors says (more or less), "It's all good! This is just what I wanted to happen! Hell yeah, Vaughn Walker, you are my sweet gay BFF and I can't wait to run into you again at Eros when this is all over!!"

Of course, the actual back-and-forth details of the shenanigans that have gone on for weeks and weeks and weeks is much more complicated (and prodigiously boring) but the bottom line is that the damn trial might actually resume once EQCA turns its shit over. It is kind of odd that these two groups are being compelled to reveal internal documents like this -- considering that they aren't even involved in the lawsuit to begin with.

Neither the ACLU nor EQCA were asked to join the lawsuit to overturn Prop 8. At first they didn't even want the trial to happen at all. Eventually they warmed up to the idea but it doesn't make much sense that that their strategies to defeat Prop 8 would contribute to making a decision about whether or not the proposition itself is constitutionally sound.

Even if there is some legal explanation for the request, what could either organization want to keep from being revealed? Unlike the Yes on 8ers, the same-sex marriage side didn't spend any time concocting terrifying tales of children being masturbated to death in order to manipulate public opinion. If anything, the No on 8 effort was so utterly benign, and toothless, and drab that I'm wondering if, perhaps, Walker is suffering from insomnia and is hoping to be put to sleep by reading EQCA's documents.

At any rate, thank you for finally offering to hand over your boring filth, EQCA. Now for the love of gawd, Judge Walker -- GET ON WITH IT, ALREADY!

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