|Those tall guys on the Golden Gate Bridge? That's right...|
Yes, the rumors are true: The Harlem Globetrotters, prior to their trio of forthcoming Bay Area games
, will dribble basketballs across the Golden Gate Bridge tomorrow morning. Hey, sounds like fun (they'll even do a bit of habitat restoration at Battery East
). But it's all fun and games until everyone's favorite troupe of novelty basketball entertainers triggers a horrible tragedy:
- The 97th Toyota Prius with an open sun roof will just be too much temptation
- San Franciscans' natural tendency to side with the underdog leads to
ugly reception and declarations of solidarity with Globetrotters'
opponents by local politicians
A troupe of seven-footers in basketball uniforms won't affect traffic at all
|Sweeeeeet Georgia Brown...|
- Close proximity to Gavin Newsom's hair + basketball-spinning virtuosos = trouble brewing
- Underappreciated Bay Bridge finally has jealous meltdown
- Pack of a dozen tall, athletic terrorists with incredible ball-handling skills could easily slip in and wreak havoc
- The Golden Gate Bridge is around 1.7 miles long. "Sweet Georgia Brown" is four minutes long. It just won't work!