It's Your Friday Morning News Quiz -- With 'Hot Tub Time Machine' Prize!

What do you say to someone after you've shot them for no reason? See question No. 3.

​Boy howdy, do we have a prize for you this week! Get us a perfect score first and you win your choice of a Hot Tub Time Machine backpack, or the über-1980s soundtrack to the forthcoming film. You want it? Get everything right and send me the answers here.

1. Which of these horrible news stories didn't really run this week?

A. Alleged Child Porn Prof Suspected Of St. Louis Baby Rape
B. Worker Held in S.F. Convalescent-Home Killing
C. SFO Tower May Not Resist Quake
D. Beloved Nun Struck, Killed By Muni Train

2. What sort of item has been filched four times this month in Oakland?

A. ATMs
B. Police cars
C. Mayor Ron Dellums' mailbox
D. Monta Ellis' shoes

3. What did a man who shot a stranger earlier this month in Visitacion Valley say to his victim?

A. "Stay off my lawn"
B. "I thought you were someone else"
C. "That was a lousy thing for me to do"
D. Strange chanting neighbors likened to a Maori war dance

'Sit down, kid. I got bad news for ya.'

​4. How did a top U.C. San Francisco doctor describe the health care bill to SF Weekly?

A. "A fucking travesty"
B. "It ain't that bad"
C. "Thrilling"
D. "I'm speechless. I just have no words."

5. California residents were recently sent a mysterious, anti-Gavin Newsom mailer with lurid images of San Francisco's mayor plastered on it. Which of these was actually on the postcard?

A. A photograph of Newsom making cocktails behind a bar
B. A photograph of Newsom dancing wildly with no shirt
C. A photograph of Newsom caught looking at a woman's cleavage
D. A photograph of Newsom's head on a sumo wrestler's body

Send answers here.