An Open Letter to All the Straight People

Categories: Queer

nancy_pelosi_official_portrait.jpg
Nancy? Can we talk?
Dear heterosexual allies,

I think we need to talk. You really need to start being better friends to us gays. That includes my straight pals in San Francisco, who sometimes forget that in most parts of this country homosexuals are second-class citizens.

In San Francisco, the worst we have to deal with on a regular basis is Debra Saunders (whose hairdo reveals a strong affection for The Romantics). The big dilemma around town right now is whether or not anyone should tell Judge Vaughn Walker that he needs a breath mint to cover up his cock breath.

I'm not saying that there aren't crazy homophobes (William Tam) in San Francisco. But I am saying that we don't have to deal with the kind of shit that goes down in other places -- like last week in Minnesota where the legislature has decided to start talking about marriage equality. This caused a tea-party activist (surprise!) to say, "Rosa Parks didn't move to the front of the bus to support sodomy." I guess Ms. Parks liked the sodomy that was already taking place at the back of the bus.

Here's my beef: Why don't these homophobes get shouted down -- or even rebutted -- by my friends? YOUR lack of response to these attacks is enabling them to continue and encourages denial of our claims. While our straight liberal buddies in the Bay Area loll about in a Terri Schaivo-like manner, America's heartland is arming itself with pitchforks and torches, gathering a mob to lynch the gay beast.

Maybe you should take the same position that Howard Stern and Sarah Silverman have and encourage others to NOT get married. Some of you, like Stern, have already been married (once or twice) so this isn't going work. I'd like to make another suggestion.

I propose this: Full-scale abstinence from the Democratic Party. I can hear the gasps right now. Sacrilege! Mon dieu!! Draw a line in the sand with the party that is supposed to represent your interests and demand that they do right by us -- your friends. Nancy Pelosi is handed her House seat every two years by San Francisco voters. She represents one of the largest LGBT communities in the country (and the world?) yet she has done nothing to advance any bills that directly relate to the status of her LGBT constituency. Why is she given a pass when she is the third-most powerful politician in the country?

Why won't our friends/neighbors/family exercise their influence on Speaker Pelosi?

Having such support could be beautiful, if it actually meant something.

Following Patrick on Twitter: @uppityfag

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