Denny's Complimentary Grand Slam Only 'Free' To Those Who Can't Do Math

• Fuck that line.

• If you're going to include dignity and patience factors, you should include the free-food-tastes-better-multiplier.

• Waiting "on line" is a New York expression. Am I right? It's something subtle I've been noticing. And I agree with you. If I had nothing to do or had a vacation day to blow, why not? Also, I like my eggs over easy, which wouldn't fly today.

• I have to say that I agree with the concept of this article, even if I don't completely agree with the formula and writing style. I've always put a value on my time and run a similar quick cost analysis on any event that consumes my time. If you're a minimum wage earner or currently out of work, then you could easily adapt this to calculate the value of time lost that you could have been educating yourself to increase your value to a future employer. At some point you'll have gained enough knowledge to run your own business. It's up to you to make yourself indispensable. If you're desperate and hungry then fine, I completely understand. Otherwise it's not worth the effort to leave the house.

• Bob -- Ya got me there. Told you it was a while since my advanced math days. I'm making the fix. But you won't have a "Zero" patience; for the purposes of this contrived formula, you max out at eight and bottom out at two. Best, JE

• S = (H+1/5.99)*P*D and a higher patience means a higher patience factor. So according to this stupid article, the more patient you are the less likely you should wait for food. If you have 0 patience, there is no opportunity cost. Yeah, that makes sense.

• Kay -- As someone whose entire high school soccer team underperformed in a tournament due to "Moons Over My Hammy"-related maladies, I think one-and-a-half gastrointestinal jokes was letting off Denny's rather easy. As for EEEEEE's complaint -- did I get all the E's in there? -- even unemployed people's time is worth something. Unemployed people still have dignity and unemployed people still get bored. Unless you're really and truly desperate -- and we have our fair share of such folks in San Francisco -- it doesn't seem to make much sense to mill around in amusement park-style lines for an appreciable amount of time for six bucks worth of barely passable food when you could spend that much or less in a matter of minutes, get good food, and actually help out a locally owned business. But to each his own, my fellow goober.

• This argument is a silly one. With at least 10% of the country unemployed, (likely closer to 20%), your time is money equation is simply ridiculous... not that it was ever valid... Here in New York, we have folks who will easily wait an hour to buy a not inexpensive hamburger, and even longer, in the cold, to buy a mediocre cupcake. (not to mention the fact that it takes near this amount of time for a real breakfast to be made from scratch). If there is no opportunity to make minimum wage during the time you are waiting, then you are simply waiting for a 'free' breakfast... with so many people unable to afford a hot meal, this strikes me as offensive. You sir, are a goober.

• I'm sorry that your tiny widdle tummy is too delicate to manage such plebian fare, but all the diarrhea jokes were uncalled for and bad writing. Stay on subject.

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