 |
| Seriously, where can we get a pair of shoes like this? |
In a similar -- though less gravelly -- vein, Angie Kerr of the
St. Louis Athletica is wearing a uniform the exact same color as a sidewalk (except in ritzy towns; there sidewalks are pink. That, too, wouldn't work for a soccer uniform.). Pavement and forest green are bad colors -- which makes the fact this uniform has little personality even more glaring. Points for the Tampa Bay Bucs tangerine shoes, though. But those are probably not standard issue.
The "You Tried. That's Good. You Failed. That's Bad" Division |
| We want stripes! We want stripes! |
What has the league unleashed upon Manya Makoski of the
Los Angeles Sol? Is it
Mel Gibson's face in
Braveheart, if only he hailed from Pittsburgh? Is it the one horrible uniform the
1979 Pirates didn't wear? There are possibilities here -- but this uniform is not realizing them. Perhaps they can find someone knowledgeable about fashion in the L.A. vicinity to lend a hand.
 |
| The face of the franchise... |
Who brought "change" to Washington, D.C.? The
Washington Freedom did. Unfortunately, it wasn't good. The Freedom's look this year pales in comparison to
last year's duds (those seemed a bit more understated and didn't have white shorts. White shorts, players will find, are often translucent -- with all due respect to
Manchester United). Props to Nikki Marshall for her enthusiasm modeling the kit. But while style may get you to D.C., you need substance to make an impact. These uniforms, like the political juju of D.C.'s most famous resident, have regressed.
The "Losing By Less Is The New Winning" Division
 |
| We've got the blues too, Leslie |
Monochromatism has its pitfalls (see:
Seattle Seahawks). But Leslie Osborne of the
Boston Breakers nearly pulls it off. Nearly. The problem is, electric blue just isn't a good enough uniform color to warrant a head-to-toe wardrobe; it's like the
Josh Hartnett of colors. It's fine in limited doses. No one should give it its own movie. (trust us, we've sat through
Lucky Number Slevin).
 |
| Very, very yellow |
While it's apparent that Leigh Ann Robinson of the
Atlanta Beat would make even a
1998 Cleveland Cavs jersey look like something filched from the wardrobes of Mount Olympus, we fear that "banana" is not a fitting base color for a professional sporting franchise's apparel. Also, remember our dire warning regarding white shorts. So, yes, while banana-and-white might be a great combo for roller skating along Venice Beach in 1978, we have our reservations regarding a pro sports uni in 2010.
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