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​In an homage to Beckhap's Law, the SF Weekly's Audrey Fukuman created the following infographic, representing the differences in how men and women rate each other when looking for a potential mate.

Follow us on Twitter at @sfweekly.

Not vegan.

​A sticky dilemma: How do vegans justify owning carnivorous pets? [SFAppeal]

A pox on soulless marketing execs: The absolute worst cover for Dante's Infreno ever. [The Rumpus]

Wonderful video of a 1975 S.F. Soapbox Derby. [Laughing Squid]

Footage of the Marcus Shelby Quartet playing an MLK tribute at the Red Poppy Arthouse. [BayTaper]

Annual Golden Gate Park event, Old Car Picnic stalled. [Richmond SF]

Pedestrian apparently hit by taxi on Market. [Mission Mission]

Yes, we realize how dull that sounds. But you have to take into account that during the 19thcentury people happily subjected themselves to all kinds of poisonous tonics and electrocuting devices in the name of health and virility, which means that the defunct ventures of the past are a great deal more thrilling than that empty Gap storefront in your neighborhood.

These examples were culled from scans of a publication called The San Francisco Merchant, which promoted itself as the only publication "Devoted to Viticulture, Olive Culture, and Other Productions, Manufactures and Commerce of the Pacific Coast."


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No, this is not Vazquez' work

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24th Street and Hampshire

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​Homeless sex offenders in San Francisco will find out whether they'll be able to finally move indoors on Monday. The state Supreme Court will issue its decision about the constitutionality of the Jessica's Law restrictions banning sex offenders from living 2,000 feet from a school or park -- which, in San Francisco, have forced nearly all paroled sex offenders into homelessness.

SF Weekly ran a cover story about the conundrum last month: Sex offenders paroled to the city after voters passed Jessica's Law in November 2006 must live in enforced homelessness because there are virtually no areas in the dense city that are compliant with the restrictions.

San Francisco attorney Ernest Galvan filed suit against the law on behalf of four sex offenders, arguing the unconstitutionality of forcing people onto the streets. He charged that the foot restrictions were a violation of the ex post facto statute that a person can't be retroactively punished by law that wasn't on the books when he or she committed the crime.


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Chiu said that MTA's chronic inability to plug its revenue shortfalls by means other than fare hikes and service cuts "raises questions about Muni's governance." Chiu also joined a long list of those questioning the independence of the mayoral-appointed MTA Board (BART board member and transit advocate Tom Radulovich earlier told SF Weekly that the MTA Board "is not independent at all. What it's turned out to be be is a perfect cat's paw. It hides accountability rather than creates accountability. It makes the entire system less accountable. The Board looks like it's running the agency, but it's not. The person making the decisions, the person who should be responsible for the failure of MTA to meet any of its charter-mandated goals, is not held accountable.").

Chiu called for large-scale Muni reform to bring about "more independent commissioners. At this point, what's the point of even having the [MTA Board] if they simply rubber-stamp whatever the transit agency is saying?"

The supervisors have no say over cuts in Muni service -- other than wholesale eliminations of entire lines. They do, however, have a vote regarding fare hikes. And Chiu said more fare hikes will not be welcomed.

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"I am more optimistic than I was," noted Golden Gate University professor Michael Zamperini. Joan Hollinger, a professor at U.C. Berkeley's Boalt Hall School of Law predicted Judge Vaughn Walker would rule against Prop. 8 -- "if the evidence is taken seriously."

For those who haven't been following the minutiae of the case against Prop. 8 -- the ballot initiative that last year stripped California same-sex couples of the right to marry -- the plaintiffs' case is two-pronged. They maintain that the right to marry is fundamental -- and it should have to be demonstrated that not taking that right away from a specific class of people such as homosexuals would somehow harm the heterosexual majority in order to justify a same-sex marriage ban. The second argument is that the pro-Prop. 8 forces' liberal use of hateful rhetoric and insinuations connecting homosexuals to child molesters led to anti-gay "animus" among voters.

The scholars SF Weekly spoke with were more confident in the former argument carrying the day than the latter.  

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There's at least one person wary of more trees here in the city...

​Quick quiz. No peeking. Match the Jewish holiday you've likely never heard of and the manner in which you celebrate it:

1. Tu B'Shevat                               A. Dance in the streets with a holy scroll
2. Shavuot                                       B. Plant a tree
3. Simchat Torah                         C. Eat dairy products
4. B'nai Emunah                           D. Bring barnyard animals into your home


The correct answers: 1. B; 2. C; 3. A; and No. 4 does not exist. But the Board of Supervisors has already scheduled to take that week off, no doubt.

In any event, you can help people celebrating Holiday No. 1 by undertaking Activity B on Sunday. The Jewish Community Center and Friends of the Urban Forest are sponsoring a Bernal Heights tree-planting. If you're interested in helping to plant a tree, sign up here.

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ugliesttattoos.com

Pretty bad! But will it get you arrested?

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1. A former San Francisco 49er was this month sued by a transgender woman who claims she was forcibly sodomized. How did defensive back Eric Green allegedly lure the woman back to his condo?

A. He said he had an "entire refrigerator full of Veuve Cliquot"
B. He claimed his roommate was Will Smith
C. He offered to introduce her to the Prince of Bahrain
D. He said they could trade clothes

2. This week, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals told the founder of the "Church of Reality" that he could no longer do what?

A. Perform same-sex weddings
B. Have multiple wives
C. Use Marijuana as a key element of his religion
D. Set up his "cathedral" in his parents' basement against their wishes

3. Monzell Harding, 18, was identified to police as the alleged perpetrator of a Muni robbery based on a distinctive tattoo. What was so distinctive? 

A. He had a tattoo that said "Joker M" -- on his neck
B. He had a tat reading "Guilty as Charged" on his forearm
C. He had a piece reading "Chedda Boy" on his hand
D. He had a tribal marking -- on his cheek

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