What Drinks Will Ace Barkeep Chris Daly Come Up With Next?

A progressive pour

​All kidding aside, we hear Supervisor Chris Daly is a hell of a bartender. So when he opens up his office on Thursday as an alcohol-laden cash-generator for the Coalition on Homelessness (5 p.m. first drink) -- greatness may ensue.

Daly is talented enough at slinging the booze that he's able to name specialty drinks after people; School board member Jane Kim told SF Weekly that Daly named a "lychee martini-like" concoction after her. By once again bribing the Guardian's unpaid interns (a signed picture of Bea Arthur is all it took), we've come up with a full list of Daly's drinkable creations:

The "Gavin Newsom": Two parts vegetable oil, one part ham, one part dirt, one part soy fillers, five parts cranberry juice, two parts strychnine, and two parts "special sauce I have to run to the back room to get."

The "Jeff Adachi": A kamikaze for the man who crashed his plane into the mayor's battleship regarding budgetary matters. And don't let him open a tab. 

The "Dennis Herrera": Two parts scotch, one part soda, and four press releases.
 
The "Ed Jew": Premium Ketel One vodka on the rocks -- but, actually, it's Popov in a Ketel bottle.

The "Willie Brown": Any old drink will do -- so long as it's served by the eight new bartenders Willie just hired on the city's dime and will soon transfer to the Human Rights Commission.

The "John Avalos": It doesn't matter. Whatever you pour for him, Gavin Newsom will just take it away.

The "Chuck Nevius": One part MD 20/20, one part Thunderbird, one part Manischewitz Loganberry wine, and one part vanilla extract, served in a paper bag.

The "Tom Ammiano": The Gay A.S.S. on Fire: one part amaretto, one splash of 151 proof rum, one part Sour Apple Pucker, one part Southern Comfort. Light it, kiss it, drain it.

The "Twitter": A shot of 140-proof alcohol -- served via an enema.

The "Chris Daly's Key to Surviving a Fairfield Weekend": A tub of Miller High Life, codeine, and a repeating loop of the closing seconds of the 1992 Kentucky-Duke East Regional Final.