What Did Gavin Newsom Bring Everyone From Hawaii?
When you take off for an impromptu jaunt several thousand miles away from City Hall and even your top aides don't know where you are -- well, gifts are in order. Here's a gift guide from the Aloha State:
Acting Mayor Carmen Chu: T-shirt reading "I was controversial acting mayor and all I got was this lousy T-shirt," size small. Also, macadamia nuts.
Board President David Chiu: T-shirt reading "I shoulda been acting mayor and all I got was this lousy T-shirt," also size small. And macadamia nuts.
Mayoral Spokesman Nathan Ballard: A new chair to replace the one that is now unusable after he realized the mayor took off to Hawaii without telling him.
Mayor Willie Brown: To the man who filled in for the big-time speeches Gavin skipped, an honorific naming him King Willieleonalani. And a hat. With feathers.
Former Board President Aaron Peskin: A couple of Don Ho records as a peace offering. Now Peskin -- currently in the midst of a five-week sojourn in the Himalayas -- will give Newsom lessons on how to properly phone key city officials in the wee hours and berate them before heading off to parts unknown for lengthy trips.
City Greening Director Astrid Haryati: Cocount cake -- and a four-hour YouTube presentation of Newsom explaining how San Francisco should switch to a macadamia tree-based greening policy.
Supervisor David Campos: A pair of beautiful Quaker Parakeets -- which are actually illegal in California. Hmmmm -- should Campos report this pair of recent immigrants to the authorities or not?
Supervisor Chris Daly: A Hawaiian Punch.