Lady Convicted of Filching Nine Pianos

The age-old question that has tormented thinkers for ages -- regarding whether you could walk off with nine pianos and get away with it-- was answered Tuesday. No. You cannot.

As owner of Encore Vintage Pianos, Gilner had entered into agreements with the hapless piano owners to move their antique instruments for an agreed upon price, 10 percent of which Gilner would keep as commission.

Instead, the transaction ended on a considerably sour note. Gilner snared all the money for herself to pay business and personal debts, fibbing to the inquiring owners in order to string them along for years. Where was Yelp when you needed it?  

She twice forged documents with false selling prices of the pianos and sent them to the victims. As the District Attorney's summation of the case states with a flair for the dramatic: "Her scheme unraveled in 2005, when the defendant declared bankruptcy and admitted what she had done." Also, yes, if Gilner had used the ill-gotten proceeds of one piano to pay off the owners of another piano -- that would have been a piano Ponzi scheme.

Gilner faces sentencing on Jan. 5. Which prison wing is reserved for piano thieves?