Muni Fight Meme: Local Writer Breaks Up Bus Brawl
Categories: Public Transit
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Muni Fights have been something of a trend recently. (Although, as Muni maven Greg Dewar from the N-Judah Chronicles pointed out in our comments section, this isn't really a new thing, its just been heavily documented of late.) Ever since the highly publicized videos of fights have made the rounds on the internets, it seems everyone has a similar story to share. This particular account of mayhem on Muni comes from Isaac Fitzgerald, who's managing editor over at The Rumpus and also has a death wish. Here's his story:
Riding the 14 Mission bus on my way home from work yesterday (because of a flat tire) I broke up a fight between a tiny Spanish-speaking person of indeterminate gender and a giant crazy lady because no one was doing anything and there were some petrified tourists who were basically shouting for help. I got between the two and broke it up, reminding them that this was "a bus and not a boxing ring." The giant crazy lady (no teeth save a giant gold grill where her front lower teeth should've been) went to the back of the bus and all seemed cool until one of the kids at the back, who had been egging them on the whole time (who can blame 'em, it's what kids do), shouted "Ding, ding, ding, round three!" The crazy lady's eyes lit up and she screamed "round three" and came back down the aisle with her fists up as if she was expecting a fisticuffs match a la the 1800s. She shouted "move!" a couple times (one kid screamed "that's a big crazy lady you better move, white boy!") but I refused (the tiny combatant behind me started shouting in Spanish but I asked her to "please turn the hell around" and she did). The crazy lady then popped me in the face and then in my ribs. The bus exploded with everyone shouting "Ooooohhh!". I just stood there, and the bus driver finally pulled over. The crazy lady got off the bus after someone shouted "the driver's calling the cops." The bus proceeded on. An old dude with a cane nodded at me and said "good looking out." The tourists looked at me like I was insane and, to be honest, I secretly harbor ill-will towards them for not applauding. Yeah. I'm dumb. But at least it's in a kind of helpful way.)The takeaway lesson is, of course, that riding Muni is always an adventure. In personal safety. Here's hoping that the "petrified tourists" didn't badmouth our fair city too much when they returned home.
Full disclosure: Fitzgerald is a friend of the author
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