Excitement Builds as 'Comb Your Hair Like Gavin Newsom Day' Draws Near
The other day, we declared Friday to be Comb Your Hair Like Gavin Newsom Day, in honor of our erstwhile mayor's 42nd birthday the next day. As we put it before:
It's tougher than it looks to get your hair to lay like this
Your participation in this experiment will, once and for all, answer the critical question that has plagued local social scientists and armchair political psychiatrists: Does combing your hair like Gavin Newsom make you behave like Gavin Newsom, or does behaving like Gavin Newsom induce you to comb your hair like Gavin Newsom?
It turns out, however, that getting your hair to lay like Newsom's requires more than, say, falling down an elevator shaft or poking one's head out the window of a Concorde. We've been training. It ain't easy.
We have experienced moderate success in our early attempts to duplicate Newsom's signature coiffure by using two brushes nearly simultaneously: A standard brush and a densely packed bristle brush. The former can be used to force one's hair back, while the latter is utilized to give one's hair the overall elevation and raised sides necessary for Gavin Newsom's modified flat-top.
Sans the bristle brush, one can achieve the straight-back Pat Riley look, but Newsom's hair is not tight along his scalp. However one feels about Newsom's personality and competence, his hair is definitely multidimensional -- and challenging. We're on our way to mastering "The Newsom," however -- when we walked into the next room people shouted, "Aaaaaaaah! You look like Gavin Newsom." This is a good sign. Unless, you know, the people you cohabitate with are not fans of Newsom's appearance.
This will be a test for us. But we will perfect our dual-brush, Clubman-or-Brilliantine approach come the big day. Because Friday is Comb Your Hair Like Gavin Newsom Day -- whether we like it or not.