Want to Be A Walking Billboard For Life -- For Free? Web Site Offers 'Free Tattoo Day' in S.F., But Only For Folks Willing to Brand Themselves With Corporate Logo.

He just did it, all right

​A few years back, several track athletes got some ink because of their ink -- they featured ostentatious Nike tattoos on their biceps. The notion of the billion-dollar corporate entity's brand being essentially soldered onto the bodies of its low-level associates as if they were fast-moving, bipedal cattle wasn't thrilling for everyone watching. But, then again, they weren't our biceps.

So, if there's some corporation for which San Franciscans feel the need to provide free advertising for the rest of their lives -- and, depending upon how well your mortal remains are preserved and how widely the crime-scene photographs are disseminated, possibly even in death -- a nascent Web site wants to hook you up.

MyBrandz.com has declared Sept. 7 to be "Free Tattoo Day in San Francisco." But there is a catch. You will only receive a free tattoo if you choose to be branded for life with a corporate logo. (If anyone organizing this is aware of the irony of offering people the chance to serve as unpaid walking advertisements for large corporations for life on Labor Day, he or she isn't letting on). Locals intrigued by this offer are invited to leave their information on the Web site; the company promises to set up appointments at "professional tattoo studios" throughout San Francisco (no amateur operations in old Dodge Ram Vans here). 

Examples depicted on the Web page and the (ostensibly) charmingly amateurish YouTube video invitation include an Apple logo on a man's foot, Mattel's Barbie text on what appears to be a leg, and some enthusiastic schill who has Marvel comics, Nintendo, and Converse Chuck Taylor All-Star logos on his neck.

This is where corporate tattoo enthusiasts have strolled into a realm which I cannot fathom. I like Nintendo and Marvel Comics and I enjoy my pair of Converse Chuck Taylors. But I demonstrate this affection by paying money for their products, which offers me a tangible benefit for my investment; I don't see the utility of giving them free advertising space on my body for the rest of my time on Earth. And I certainly don't want their logos on my neck. I don't want anything on my neck.

In any event, folks who go through with this offer are invited to contact SF Weekly here. And, to borrow a line from Desi Arnaz, "You got some splainin to do."