Progressive Apologists' Secret Meeting to Spin Daly's Move to 'Burbs -- Exclusive!

Categories: Media, Politics
Taco Wagon.jpg
'Meeting time, guys.'
 
The strangely nostalgic odor of stale beer wafts through the streets of Potrero Hill as a handful of familiar figures converge on a designated corner. It's the Progressive Apologists, a group of lefty media movers and shakers who have been summoned to a top secret meeting by Bay Guardian publisher Bruce Brugmann.

They are assembled at their haunt of choice -- the taco truck down the road from the Anchor Steam brewery. There's Brugmann and his executive editor Tim Redmond chain-guzzling Jarritos lime soda. Randy Shaw of BeyondChron.org was forced to leave half-finished a scintillating piece about how the Chron's orgiastic coverage of Mayor Gavin Newsom's extramarital affair was actually a Chron conspiracy to boost Newsom's hopes for the presidency in 2016. Everyone was in on it: Phil Bronstein, the Gettys, college radio stations -- it's big. Fog City Journal's Luke Thomas has shown up to document the secret meeting with hundreds of full-color photographs; no one else has ever managed to make the taco truck look so good.

Brugmann: Thank you for coming on such short notice. And, also, thanks for following our media omerta regarding Brother Daly's Fairfield situation. I'm heartened that, confronted with this intensely puzzling personal and political story that cries out for research and analysis, we have all steadfastly not written one goddamn word. You are all to be praised. 

All nod in unison.

Redmond: Y'know, Bruce and I both own homes and our paper has repeatedly called for a curtailment of all but below-market-rate construction. So, what I'm saying is, folks, I don't see any problem with what Chris did! Those goddamn reactionaries accused Bruce and me of having the dumb luck to get into San Francisco's real estate market early and then pulling up the ladder after us. Now they'll say Chris continually pushed for low-income housing construction at the expense of anything else and then left the city to buy a house ...

Thomas: Please hold the taco just so, Tim. And Chris bought two houses, by the way. He left that out of the original communique he dictated onto my site. 

Redmond
: Two houses? So he's a landlord now?

Everyone laughs uproariously.

Shaw: Boy, that'd be a tough call for a tenant's lawyer to get. "My landlord uses foul langauge. My landlord doesn't ever return my calls. My landlord tried to blame it on me when he took a crap on Gavin Newsom's front steps." I predict tsurris.

San Francisco Bay Guardian city editor Steven T. Jones pedals frantically toward the taco truck on a kid-sized bike with bright streamers on the handles flapping in the stale beer breeze. He loves his bike and so do most people who see it.

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