Muni's New Solution: Make Rules *and* Follow Them. Problem Solved!
Categories: Public Transit
 |
| Jim Herd |
| Muni's 'No dumping oil on Geary Boulevard' rules will be enforced ... from now on |
This is fantastic news for Muni ridership. We should all breathe a bit easier -- unless, of course, you're sitting in a particularly odoriferous Muni vehicle. And we can hardly wait to see what other longstanding Muni rules the agency will now opt to follow:
- Strict no-crashing policy to be fully enforced;
- Drivers' rambling, five-minute discussions with random aquaintences walking alongside Muni vehicles will be capped at contract-stipulated three minutes;
- "Ben Dover," "Patty O'Furniture," "Sandy Beach," "Shanda Lear," "Justin Case," and "Rita Book" are no longer acceptable fake names to give to Muni fare inspectors;
- Per the above, "15 Credibility Street," "4 Privet Drive," "221 B Baker Street" or "1060 West Addison Street" are no longer acceptable fake addresses;
- As stipulated last November, all bus lines except the 14, 29, and 38 are now strictly urine-free;
- Previous requirements mandated drivers to scowl at non-paying bus back-boarders. Drivers are now required to scowl extra hard;
- Beverages are not permitted on Muni! But if you must spill scalding coffee during your commute, bring enough to spill on everyone;
- Strong-arm robbers operating on the Muni system are encouraged to enunciate in order to clear up misconceptions about exactly which items they wish to steal;
- Transplanted New Yorkers are required to shout "Hey! How about it?" at riders mindlessly congregating toward the front of the Muni vehicle when plenty of room is available in the rear;
- And, finally, Muni rules explicitly state that "Children are not allowed to stand on the seats." We are all left to wonder who, exactly, is allowed to stand on the seats.
Photo | Jim Herd
Write Comment
Email to Friend
Print Article
