If Time Is Money, Then Forthcoming 7-11 Slurpee Giveaway May Not Really Be 'Free'

www.slurpee.com

This 7-11 ad seems to replace the sun, provider of life, with a frozen cup of chemicals. Also, it's a little too Japanese battle flag for even us.

Several months back, we wrote about how ostensibly able-bodied folks waited for hours in never-ending lines to get a "free" Denny's Grand Slam Breakfast worth less than six bucks -- when minimum wage in this city is $9.79 an hour.

It didn't make much sense then and it doesn't now -- but, then again, money found is far sweeter than money earned. So, here's another "free" giveaway -- on July 11 (that's 7/11), 7-11 is giving away "free" 7.11-ounce Slurpees. Once again, if you're spending more than 15 minutes milling about to obtain a few cents' worth of syrup and crushed ice, the math is probably against you. But we do have to hand it to the 7-11 people for inserting the term "7-11" three times into one giveaway.

It kind of makes us wonder -- how come 7-11 doesn't exploit its most brilliant opportunity to name-drop yet: The fact it took over a San Francisco space formerly inhabited by a bar called the "711 Club" and built a 7-11 there -- on 711 Market Street? 

It's a painful memory for yours truly, as the 711 Club offered everything you could have wanted in your regular Friday evening bar: Bad lighting, playing cards glued to the ceiling, bumpy stucco walls with gold glitter sprinkled on them, cheap Bitburgers, endless pretzel bowls, Ms. Pac-Man tabletop machines and lanky, androgynous bartenders with B.O. It was lovely.

But, in the name of progress, we showed up one Friday and there was a padlock on the front entryway. Through the slit between the double-doors we could make out the interior, better lit than it would have been on any business day. Hmm -- so that's why they kept the lights low.

But my rose-colored nostalgia aside, for 7-11 to tie this locale into its local advertising would offer the opportunity to get the term "7-11" into its pitches three more times ("Come to 7-11 on 711 Market, the home of the former '711 Club'..."

In any event, you won't see me setting foot in that edifice again. That ship has passed. And while 7-11's "Store Locator" function seems to be on the fritz, here's a list of places that might serve you on July 11.