Because Somebody Had To: Your Gubernatorial Look-Alikes Article

Categories: Politics

While perusing the New York Times Magazine's 26.3 billion-word article on the (wo)men who would rule California -- which may well spur the rest of us to consider the merits of Nevada, Oregon, or Arizona -- a thought hit us. Not an important thought, but a thought nevertheless.

For reasons unknown, septuagenarian Attorney General Jerry Brown consented to be photographed next to a gnarled, old tree that only emphasized his own gnarliness. That's when it struck us: Brown is a dead ringer for Walter, the geriatric dummy of ventriloquist Jeff Dunham (he's the guy you see on Comedy Central on weekends before uttering, "Shit, a ventriloquist" and changing the channel):

brown_puppet.jpg

Actually, all of the men running for governor are a boon for "separated at birth?" photo-opportunities. Take our erstwhile Mayor, Gavin Newsom:

gavine-Dejavu.jpg
Gavin photo: Brainchildvn


Anyone local who watched the latest Batman film had to start wondering when Bruce Wayne was going to promote Heather Fong over Commissioner Gordon; the resemblance between Christian Bale in the role and Newsom in his is astounding. Also, Bale's ridiculous, affected gravelly voice sounds quite a bit like Newsom's unaffected cadences. While we're at it, Newsom's a dead ringer for the protagonist of the classic old-school videogame Deja Vu

campbell_pix.jpg


You may not know who Tom Campbell is. After the gubernatorial election, you still may not (He's a former Republican Congressman and dean of the Haas School of Business at U.C. Berkeley). Fittingly, you may not know who David Morse is, either; he's one of those "That guy!" actors whom everyone recognizes but no one knows. Perhaps his star turn in the critically acclaimed The Hurt Locker will change that. Better chance of that happening than his look-alike Campbell doing much. 

nabors.jpg

Finally, we can't help but think that Insurance Commisioner and Republican candidate Steve Poizner looks a bit like -- surprise, surprise, surprise! -- Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. himself, Jim Nabors.

By the way, we're not misogynists here. We just can't think of anyone Meg Whitman looks like. Can  you? If you've got any bright ideas about Whitman -- or any of the candidates -- let us know.

Photoshopping   |   Janine Kahn

My Voice Nation Help
0 comments

Now Trending

San Francisco Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

©2014 SF Weekly, LP, All rights reserved.
Loading...