Will Gay Mecca Relocate From San Francisco To Des Moines?

Categories: Law & Order
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Disdain of San Franciscans' disdain of all things Midwestern has become nearly as clichéd as the original sin. And, yet, there's always a touch of schadenfreude anticipating city residents' chagrin whenever legitimately good news emanates from the Midwest indicating its denizens have out-progressived our self-anointed capital of progressivism. 

The Iowa Supreme Court this morning did what many observers feel its San Francisco-based California colleagues will not -- rule that a ban on same-sex marriage violates the constitutional rights of gay and lesbian couples. This morning's decision adds Iowa to the very short list of states in which same-sex marriage is legal -- Connecticut, Massachusetts, and, now, The Tall Corn State. Perhaps it's only fitting for a state with the motto "Our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain."

No less an authority on gay marriage than Arnold Schwarzenegger has touted the economic benefits of same-sex wedding tourism. As San Francisco merchants slap their palms on the table at the loss of a tailor-made revenue stream (thanks a lot, Prop. 8), we offer the following brief guide on things for same-sex marriage tourists to do in Iowa:

  • Don't struggle too hard making "Love Train" analogies while visiting the Railroad Museum in Council Bluffs, Iowa. Oh, by the way -- Council Bluffs is home to not one but two railroad museums: The Union Pacific museum and the Rails West museum (no idea which is more gay-friendly);
  • Commemorate the same-sex partnership that changed America at the Lewis & Clark Interpretive Center in Souix City. Was Sacagawea the Yoko of this early American supergroup? Here's the place to find out;
  • Having a huge, gay wedding at the Herbert Hoover Presidential Museum in West Branch doesn't seem any more inappropriate than commemorating the presidency of Herbert Hoover, does it?
  • Talk about perfect timing! This month is the big Civil War re-enactment of the Battle of Pea Ridge in Keokuk (never mind the fact that the actual battle was fought in Arkansas, not Rand Park in the city of Keokuk, Iowa). We'll leave it to same-sex couples to decide which is more apropos -- donning the greys or the blues.
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