SF Gov InAction: This Week's Meetings are Like Catnip for Angry People. Madnip, Anyone?

Monday, April 20

11 a.m. - Public Safety Committee

Hey, remember that time an outside researcher published a report on how the SFPD could improve performance, and nothing happened?

No, the other time.

No, the other other time.

You're probably thinking about the Police Executive Research Forum's organizational assessment of the SFPD, or Dr. Lorie Fridell's Fair and Impartial Policing report. But you COULD be thinking of the Public Safety Strategies Group's District Station Boundaries Analysis, for all I know.

But I'm talking about the report by the Community Policing Advisory Committee. Duh. Those other reports are -- SO -- 2008, 2007, and 2008 (respectively).

As is the case with most unsolicited advice given to police officers, all of this material has been given the right to remain silent. Until today, when David Campos has called a hearing to find out exactly what the SFPD's plans are for implementing all these ideas.

I'm sure they have a plan for implementing all these ideas. It's just that they've been so busy - what with the Battlestar finale and everything.

Oh, like you've never missed a consecutive series of major deadlines developed in consultation with outside experts for improving life-or-death services.

At least action on one recommendation is under way: Also up at this meeting is a hearing on the selection of officers for the community policing program at the Ingleside station -- a pilot program that was actually suggested in the 2008 PERF report. One is better than none.

The usual hearing on crime n' stuff in the city will also take place. I know we all get so much out of that.

1 p.m. - Land use & Economic Development Committee

Owning shit in San Francisco is about to get tougher. We have the drought, and Gavin Newsom's extremely good intentions, to thank.

On the agenda are measures to improve the water retention in commercial and residential buildings by:

"amending the standards for water closets, showerheads, and faucet aerators and requiring leak repair in all (residential and commercial) buildings,"

What this means, in simple terms, is that from now on if you construct or buy a building in SF, Gavin Newsom will personally choose a few more of your plumbing fixtures. For the greater good.

Fascinatingly, there is a procedure for a person to get a "medical exemption" for a non-conforming shower head.

I know I would very much like to learn more about this.

The bills will also authorize inspection records to be available online -- assuming anybody gets around to putting them there, which, according to my reading, the law doesn't actually require.

Also -- oddly -- the bill will change all the relevant code references from "toilets" to "water closets." Are we saying that now?

Tuesday, April 21, 2 p.m. - Full Board of Supervisors

Aside from appointing commission members, ratifying zoning amendment, and passing the film rebate plan, these meetings remain dreadfully dull, mostly filled with symbolic pap more reminiscent of a student council than an actual governing body.

There is, in fact, a rumor that to win votes on measures like these, David Chiu bribes legislators with juice and animal crackers:

• Recognizing freshwater as a human right

• Declaring May 9 - 16 "AmeriCorps Week"

• Supporting the State Senate's inert pesticides ingredients act.

• Congratulating the new President-Elect of El Salvador

• Denouncing immigration raids and supporting comprehensive immigration reform

• Urging the U.S. Postal Service to issue a Harvey Milk commemorative stamp

• Commending Ingleside Police Station Captain Denis O'Leary

• Commending the President of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamations (GLAAD)

See? I'm pretty sure a student council could do all of that -- and in less time, with better snacks.

Also worth noting: Sophie Maxwell wants to create a Schlage Lock/Visitacion Valley Special Use District. I mention this only because it fits into my ongoing theory that, eventually, San Francisco will be nothing more than a series of continuously overlapping special use districts.

Think I'm exaggerating? Uh uh. It has already happened.

Wednesday, April 22

11 a.m. - Budget & Finance Subcommittee

The highly dubious proposal to have the city hire Recurrent Energy to build and manage a solar energy plant on city land is making the rounds again. Only now it's been transferred from the full budget committee to the subcommittee. For a bill like this, In sports terms, that's the equivalent of being sent from the San Francisco Giants to the ACME Lawn Equipment Repair Shop's office B-Team.

Also now in the subcommittee is the Mayor's proposal to raise $42 million through "certificates of participation" (bonds that don't have to be put before the voters) for streetscape improvements.

And, just to round everything out, there's a proposal by Bevan Dufty to waive the fees for a temporary farmer's market in Noe Valley.

Now that's some fresh-picked Democracy.

1:30 p.m. - Budget and Finance Committee

Here's what you should come to the committee to yell about this week:

• The potential impact of budget cuts on the homeless

• The Youth Commission's budget priorities

• The adoption of Budget Priorities for the Board of Supervisors as a whole.

Ah man -- the line of angry people's gonna be out the freakin' door.

We'll check in next week when the Budget and Finance Committee continues to play: "You Cut WHAT?!?"

Thursday, April 23, 1 p.m. - Government Audit & Oversight Committee

It's been almost a year since it was released, and the city is STILL RESPONDING to the Civil Grand Jury Report: "The homeless have homes, but they are still on the street."

I've read the report. It's a good report. It's not a Russian novel. There are no subtexts or layers of meaning. The characterizations are not especially subtle. It can ... I guess this is what I'm trying to say ... be read and responded to in under six months.

On the other hand, it's nice to see the Supes reading. Maybe they could read copies of the report aloud at local libraries for "story time." Then, instead of taking almost a year to hold hearings about a response, they and the kids could create their responses in the form of a craft. Macaroni art, perhaps, or something with glitter and glue.

C'mon -- tell me that would be less efficient than what we have now. At least the kids would like it.

Also at this meeting, a hearing on the city's Climate Action Plan. Oh God. They're all going to come out of the woodwork for that one. I'd say "wake me when it's over," but I'm afraid it will never end.

If the Earth ever is destroyed by cataclysmic climate change, the last voice we hear will be that of a San Francisco activist loudly proclaiming that, if we CARED about nature, we would all die using less carbon.

Wake me when it's over.