Like Stealing Electronics From a Baby: Police Bust Alleged Elementary School Burglars

By Joe Eskenazi Wed., Apr. 29 2009 at 12:01 AM

Categories: Crime

Robert Fulghum earned a living, fame, and everlasting enmity from authors toiling over Russian Novel-length manuscripts after putting in a full day at the regular job when he published his sickly sweet manifesto, Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten.

Among the pearls of wisdom Fulghum gleaned: Share everything, play fair, put things back where you found them, and don't take things that aren't yours.

A trio of men who, apparently, flunked Kindergarten were arrested very late on Monday for breaking into and burglarizing the Ulloa Elementary School in the Parkside District. A neighbor reported to police that three men in hoodies had opened a window and breached the school, resulting in the dispatching of 11 San Francisco police officers.

The platoon of cops soon located the suspects cowering in the bushes near the school -- as well as "an electronic item" one of the men admitted to taking from the school. The suspects, all of whom are adults and San Francisco residents, were arrested for burglary, conspiracy, receiving stolen property, malicious mischief, and possession of burglar tools.

Fulghum's literary crimes are not a matter of SFPD jurisdiction.