San Francisco Blog

Earlier this year, in part of what SF Weekly has labeled an "ongoing effort to avoid any give-and-take with an entity it does not control," Mayor Gavin Newsom's official city Web site unveiled a "corrections page" -- where the mayor's top spokesman, Nathan Ballard, would "set the record straight."

If you're thinking it's unusual for a paid spokesman to deign to "set the record straight" then you're not alone. And if you don't find that strange, please reach in your pocket and check for your wallet. If it's not there, we're sure you left it on the dresser at home.

In any event, the corrections page started with a bang when Ballard groused about an early February Chronicle article in which it was reported -- correctly, we might add -- that Newsom vetoed a Supervisors' proposal and enshrined a typo into law, benefiting one of his big political donors. Ballard then crowed -- incorrectly, we might add -- that the Chron corrected a quote in this "misleading article" -- when the correction was actually in a different article.  

Other than noting that the New York Times and Associated Press got Hizzoner's age wrong -- Newsom is 41 -- Ballard's red pen of justice has been dormant since Feb. 23 -- meaning we scored a perfect month of March. Way to go media of the world!

Apparently Ballard has been extraordinarily busy doing whatever it is he does when he declines to return our calls and e-mails about any subject other than Public Defender Jeff Adachi being a menace to society. We'd hate to see a Newsom pet project actually discontinued because of its utter uselessness, so we've decided to keep Ballard and the Mayor's Corrections Page working. Consider this our Corrections Stimulus:

• Reports have come to light that Jeff Adachi is, actually, the biological father of Nathan Ballard;

• Gavin Newsom has reported that the foie gras at PlumpJack restaurants will be replaced by the livers of small, adorable puppies and kitties, ripped from their writhing bodies at your table;

• Newsom today twittered his army of 140-character followers that use of the term "gay" as a pejorative within city limits is now a class two misdemeanor;

• The Mayor's Office has announced that the controversial Community Justice Center will be discontinued immediately and replaced with reruns of The People's Court;

• Ballard has decried that Newsom shall henceforth be addressed as "Mullah Gavin." What's more, Mullah Gavin has outlawed women from wearing white socks or flying kites;

• Newsom declared that donations to his gubernatorial war chest have increased since he ceased kissing hands and shaking babies and started doing things the other way round.