Calling All Readers: Help Us Devise Barry Zito's Nickname

Can you name this pitcher? Sound off!

With Barry Zito scheduled to be handed the ball tomorrow in Dodger Stadium -- and with the possibility of a five-game losing streak piled atop whatever other pressures he brings to the mound -- it's now clearer than ever: This man needs a nickname.

This is no simple task, which is why we're opening up the floodgates to you the readers. Can a proper nickname for Zito be nailed down? After all, the man has truly disappointed in myriad ways -- but has never been unlikable (in contrast to his namesake and former teammate, he has never loafed or been surly). Media types have predicted he's turned the corner so many times, you'd think Zito is careening down Lombard Street.

He's overpaid, he underperforms, he's scruffy good-looking, he's arguably on the downside of his career short of his 30th birthday, and his return to baseball competence would rival Rickey Henderson suiting up on Rickey Henderson Day and leading Oakland to victory thanks to the Rickey-esque exploits of Rickey Henderson.

Here are some nicknames we've come up with (and, sorry, "Losing Pitcher" was the nickname unfortunately planted on Hugh Mulcahy 70 years ago):

• Barry "The Albatross" Zito

• Barry "Sunk Costs" Zito

• Barry "Less Than" Zito

• "BP Barry" Zito

• "Former Cy Young Winner" Barry Zito, aka FCYW Barry Zito

Okay, your turn. Deposit your brilliance in the comments section.