Feel Special, S.F. Women: Blatantly Sexual, Patronizing Ads for 'Women's Candy Bar' Aimed Exclusively At You!

Categories: Local News
fling.jpg
Hey ladies! Here's some sex in a wrapper for you special.

If you enter "women," "chocolate," and "sex" into Google, you come up with nearly 2.4 million pages. If you substitute the word "men" for "women," that number drops to 286,000 -- and it's shocking that it's even remotely that high.

Perhaps it's with this in mind that the good folks at the Mars corporation -- the people who once employed Jamie Farr as a pitchman --  have launched a women's candy bar and opted to advertise it lasciviously (Good Lord! Is it too late to get Farr back for the commercials? Women love Jamie Farr!).

Normally, the machinations employed by a transnational corporation to cajole women into consuming chocolate wouldn't amount to a hill of cocoa beans on SF Weekly's radar -- but for the fact that Mars is airing a series of commercials for "Fling"-brand candy bars only in San Francisco.

Why? According to the assistant account executive we tracked down, it's "to get a read on the effectiveness of different marketing tactics on establishing FLING into the consumer's repertoire." In other words, today San Francisco, tomorrow the world! To wit, Mars hopes to eventually "penetrate all of California in order to create a baseline level of awareness of the brand."

Hoo-ah! You could give us a hard time for snickering about the company's use of the term "penetrate" -- but not when the Mars crowns its own ad-line "witty" for such double entendres as "Pleasure Yourself," "Try it in Public," and "It's not Cheating If You Don't Feel Guilty."

Anyhow, it warrants mentioning that Mars has steered clear of mentioning that each "fling" is roughly the size of a pinky finger. Whether this ties into sexual imagery we cannot say; but, when purchasing chocolate one can assume that size does matter.

Finally, as long as Mars is hoping to gather information from San Francisco, here's our suggestion for a marketing pitch:

"FLING! It's smaller than you'd hoped, doesn't last as long as you'd anticipated, won't resolve your self-worth issues, and leaves you vaguely unsatisfied."

Because, you know, "Melts in your mouth, not in your hands" is taken.


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