Early Nominee for San Francisco's Vaguest Crime of 2009 (Booze and Bullets Prominently Involved)

Robbed ... somewhere ... by somebody ... somehow.

The San Francisco Police Department is often raked over the coals for its failure to solve -- or even attempt to solve -- a number of the city's crimes.

But sometimes you've got to give the Boys in Blue a break. Take the following case reported at 11 p.m. on Sunday night.

A 45-year-old man took a cab ride from a bar with a 21-year-old man he met there to the younger fellow's home. Once there, the 21-year-old brandished a pistol, causing the older man to run and lock himself in the bathroom (an unusual M.O., to take someone back to your place to rob them -- but this gets weirder). The young man fired shots through the bathroom door, and the victim scrambled out a window. Some time later, the victim walked through the doors of San Francisco Southern Police Station at 850 Bryant. Somehow, he was short some money, making this a robbery. For those scoring at home, the victim:

• Did not know what bar he met the suspect in other than it was near Jones and O'Farrell;

• Did not know anything about the cab in which they traveled to the suspect's home, including the length of the ride;

• Did not know the suspect's neighborhood, let alone his address;

• Did not know how he came to straggle through the doors of Southern Station or how long before the robbery had taken place;

• Did not know how he came to lose his money.   

"Alcohol is considered a factor in this," said police spokeswoman Sgt. Lyn Tomioka -- who really may have missed her true calling as a straight woman in a comedy act -- think Margaret Dumont in a blue uniform. The victim was "Coherent enough to fill out a police report."

We'll see what the boys in the crime lab turn up.