Calling All Drunks: Free St. Pat's Day Cab Service Tonight

*With restrictions...

If you're old enough to drink in the city tonight, odds are the memories of Red Asphalt ("Is that his brain?") you endured in Driver's Ed are fading. Well, rest assured, not only is a mind a terrible thing to waste, it's a terrible thing to clean up off I-280.

With that in mind, would-be drunk drivers should avail themselves of free taxi service in San Francisco, Oakland, Berkeley, and Alameda tonight from 7 p.m. to 3 a.m. Be sure to mention the "Safe and Sober Free Ride Home."  

City tipplers should call Luxor Cab at (415) 282-4141. Alameda, Berkeley, and Oakland revelers should dial Veterans Cab at (800) 281-44-88.

The free rides are a five-year old "public relations" program sponsored by Alameda personal injury attorney Bill Berg. But, before you leave your Pittsburg abode and head to the city for an epic bender, know this: Berg will only foot your bill if you take a taxi from one San Francisco location to another (and you are not permitted to go from bar to bar).On the other hand, San Franciscans heading out the the East Bay can ride home for free.

Berg says this is a simple matter of mathematics. Lots of people head to San Francisco from the outer boondocks of the East Bay. Not so many city dwellers head east to get the party started.  

"You know, folks go to San Francisco from, like, Walnut Creek. And that's like a $100 cab ride," the lawyer says. "We just didn't have the resources to fund that sort of thing."

(At this point, East Bay residents partying in our fair city are entitled to whine -- provided they kick down the $10,000 to $15,000 Berg spends on each night of his taxi program). 

Berg sums up his eponymous program as "Doing something good for the community, public relations, and if we get a referral, terrific. This is not hard-core marketing -- and I do hard-core marketing." 

Enjoy the holiday -- and, as Sgt. Phil Esterhaus used to say on Hill Street Blues: "Hey, let's be careful out there." 

Special thanks: SFist, MyOpenBar