All Polled: We're Totally Contented and, Like, Totally Depressed

A recently released Gallup Poll attempts to rate the vague notion of "well-being," breaking down the rankings state by state and congressional district by Congressional district. California ranked on the happier end of the well-being index, and our neighbors in Congressional District 14 -- encompassing what is popularly known as Silicon Valley -- were the most well beings in the country, according to the poll. The district's representative, Anna Eshoo, told the Chronicle that the area's high spirits can be attributed to a nice climate and scenery: "Is there a better place for magnificent weather -- with the Bay on one side, and the Pacific Ocean on the other, and the magnificent parts of the California coast?...People value the land there and they've worked hard for generations to protect it. The environment is not an issue here - it's valued, cherished ... and sustained by each generation." Oh, yeah -- they also have one of the highest median family incomes in the country. But that's probably second to the bitchin' landscape.

San Francisco, which falls within Congressional District 8, ranked high, too. The poll takes into account not just health, but social and mental contentment as well. So California, and the Bay Area, appear to be totally stoked on life! Except that, uh, a record number of Californians also think our state is totally in the toilet. Huh.

A Field Poll (number 2302 if you're keeping track!), released today, states that "Californians describe the state's general economic conditions and their own economic well-being and outlook in unusually grim terms." Yeeks. Only 11percent of voters over 65 are "very confident" that they posses enough income or assets to last the rest of their lives and 76 percent of voters think the unemployment picture is "serious." (Again with the vague-ness. How does one quantify seriousness? Is it PBS-documentary-serious, or my-doctor-called-he-needs-to-give-me-some-news-that's-best-delivered-in-person serious? Suffice to say, it's not a positive assessment of our financial situation.)

So, apparently, Californians are both very content and lying awake nights wondering when our Tivos will be repossessed.

Also, according to Stanford University, we're all slated to break out in adult acne. But only the people who live in the Most Well District will be able to afford the treatment doled out by seasoned dermatologists. Rats.