San Francisco News Blog

Certainly it's caught your eye -- the ubiquitous notice in most outhouses that "dumping hazardous materials" down the loo is a federal offense. When juxtaposed with the interior of a porta-john, the verb "dumping" and the notion of "hazardous materials" have definitely inspired their share of laughs. But, now that San Francisco has experienced its 21st outhouse immolation, it warrants mentioning: Dumping crap into an outhouse is a federal offense. Torching one isn't.

The logical first question to ask is what federal law dumping paint, oil, kryptonite, etc. in the john is violating. You'd be amazed how many environmental organizations or law-enforcement agencies don't take you seriously when you mention outhouses -- and "dumping." So, it's with genuine appreciation that SF Weekly cites Federal Code Title 42, section 6925, thanks to the diligent research of Richard Schulke, a legal reference librarian at the San Francisco County Law Library. That code deals with "permits for treatment, storage or disposal of hazardous waste."

As to why is this a federal offense, it makes sense that outhouse companies would quote the overarching federal law on hazardous waste disposal rather than the myriad rules in every county. And if porta-john companies get upset when you throw cardboard or coins into the commode, imagine how motor oil or paint screws with waste removal and treatment.

So, the second question to ask is: How many outhouses does a person have to burn before it becomes a federal offense? Erica Terry Derryck, a spokeswoman for the District Attorney's office, wasn't able to consult with the staff's arson expert before this article went to press, but she did note that arson is a "jurisdictional issue." Short of an interstate outhouse arson spree, Derryck couldn't think why the feds would get involved with this. Perhaps if an outhouse were torched on land belonging to a consulate?

Finally, Gary Ong, an industrial site inspector with the San Francisco Public Utilities Commission, said that "a significant violator" dumping "a very large amount" of heavy metals or pollutants into the sewer system could be hit with federal charges for violating the Clean Water Act. Ong, however, can't recall this ever having happened; most prosecutions involve violations of the local Industrial Waste Ordinance.

But what if someone carrying a large container of kerosene -- intending to burn an outhouse -- was instead caught disposing of that kerosene down the drain. Couldn't that be a federal offense?

"Anything is possible," Ong conceded.