Swineherdopolis: America's Healthiest Eaters, San Franciscans Depend on Porcine Tourists for Survival
Categories: Local News, Media
San Francisco faces a crippling existential crisis now that it's been revealed in the December Self magazine that we're the healthiest eaters in America.In an article titled "Best Bodies," the magazine notes that "the real San Francisco treat isn't rice, but fruit; residents eat 52 servings a month, more than anywhere else we looked."
Moreover, the city "is bursting with organic-food companies, farmers markets and food co-ops, delivering fresh, seasonal produce."
What the Self
article didn't mention is that for San Franciscans, putting bread on
the table -- or fruit as the case may be -- means feeding deep-fried
whole onion flowers and other Fisherman's Wharf fare to porcine
tourists from St. Louis, Cincinnati, and Gary, Indiana, cities Self names as America's three worst fed.
So as our financial services and real estate industries tank, tourism-dependent San Franciscans increasingly become the moral equivalent of swineherds.
According to Self, however, that's not a bad way to live: San Franciscans have America's lowest average body mass index, America's the second-healthiest hearts, we're the most likely to bike to work. Soooooooouuieee! -- Matt Smith
Image Source: Self.com
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