Haynes used a diabolical method called "reverse engineering"
to compile his list of interrogation techniques, which have cast a shameful shadow
on our moral authority to prosecute the "War on Terror."
In December of 2001, the Harvard-educated Haynes had begun
to formulate his menu of misery by soliciting ideas from the Navy's Survival,
Evasion, Resistance and Escape School (SERE). The school's once noble function
was to train American military personnel to withstand illegal interrogation
techniques should they fall into the hands of a despicable enemy force, soulless
terrorist group or murderous criminal organization.
Haynes simply reverse engineered the enemy's
diabolical methods and adopted them for use at U.S. detention centers,
according to the
senate investigation report.

Haynes' "intel techniques" had the effect of a "virus" that
spread to numerous detention centers, according to the report. "Secretary
Rumsfeld's December 2, 2002
approval of Mr. Haynes' recommendations contributed to the use of abusive
techniques in Afghanistan
and Iraq," the
report reads.
The senate report goes on to say "the abuse at Abu Ghraib
was a potent recruiting tool for al Qaeda and handed al Qaeda a propaganda
weapon they could use to peddle their violent ideology."
And if compromising the integrity of the U.S. Military wasn't enough, Haynes demonstrated disdain for American soldiers by
sending memos to congress asking that enlisted military personnel
be barred from filing lawsuits in federal courts on issues of promotion,
re-enlistment and retirement, according to the Army Times. He also sought to strip military personnel of the right
to present courts marshal cases to the Supreme Court, according to the Los Angeles Daily Journal.
Haynes' discriminatory suggestions so incensed Republican
and Democrat representatives they sponsored the Equal Justice for Military
Personnel Act of 2007. The House of Representatives approved the act with a
strong bipartisan vote in September and Senate approval is still pending.
Haynes retreated from the excitement of devising
interrogation techniques to the stronghold of Chevron's headquarters in upscale San Ramon
with its neatly shorn lawns and pricey housing developments.
But that doesn't mean Haynes won't be in the thick of things.
After all, Chevron frequently finds itself in sticky legal situations which
require the services of a clever attorney who can find fuzzy legal
justification for causing harm to the powerless.
For example, there was that little misunderstanding in Nigeria
in 1998 where Chevron was alleged to have actively supported government
security forces that squashed a protest on a Chevron oil drilling platform in
the Niger Delta by killing two protestors and torturing another. Thanks to a
corps of high-paid attorneys like Haynes, a nine-member jury serving a U.S.
federal court found Chevron not liable for the incident earlier this year.

Then there's that ongoing mess in Ecuador
where Chevron, and other oil companies, have been accused of befouling the Oriente
Rain Forest with a vast legacy of
polluted water, poisoned air and cancer clusters.
And on the home front, there's always the beleaguered city
of Richmond where Chevron's
refinery pumped 60,819 tons of toxins into the air over
mostly impoverished neighborhoods in 2003, according to the Bay Area Air
Quality Management District.
So, at least, Haynes will have plenty to keep himself busy.