SF Government InAction: Summer SanFranSchitzophrenia Begins! We're Saving Water! Use More Water! Keep Elections Safe from Candidates!

By Benjamin Wachs

Monday, July 7

10 a.m. – Government Audit and Oversight Committee

Don’t let the Supes' Fourth of July vacation fool you: There’s still lots of budget work to be done. Granted this part is more like tying your shoes and zipping your coat than picking your ensemble, but still, it has to be done. So today the Supes will approve “Memorandums of Understanding” with 15 different city unions. I know you couldn’t be any less interested, but, you don’t want the city to trip, do you?

Also, you know that part about how you couldn’t be any less interested? Keep reading, because you could.

Next the city’s auditors are presenting the “comprehensive” audit for the 2006 – 2007 year and the audit plans for 2007 – 2008. Remember that scene in the movie “the Jerk” when Steve Martin jumps up and down shouting “The new phone book is here, the new phone book is here!” Well yeah.

Perhaps more excitement will be in the air when 9 Supervisors plus the mayor propose an $887 million bond “for the building and/or rebuilding and improving of the earthquake safety of the San Francisco General Hospital and Trauma Center.”

Or maybe not. If Chris Daly and Gavin Newsom can jointly sponsor a bill to improve earthquake safety at the hospital, who’s left to make it controversial?

Let’s try this: Aaron Peskin will present revisions to the 2007 – 2010 Children's Services Allocation Plan. Pretty sweet, huh? He’s proposing a $3,250,000 augmentation “to reflect changes in community needs and programmatic opportunities.”

Huh? You excited now? Feel the blood pumping? Your heart’s racing?

That money will go to “out of school time” programs at “Experience corp.” and the Ella Hill Hutch center; “youth workforce development” programs for at risk youth through the New Directions program; a “therapeutic foster care pilot initiative”; and a shelter for homeless and runaway youth.

Sounds good, right? BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

You’ll also get: $100,000 spent on a “financial literacy initiative” for youth (lesson 1: don’t spend money on financial literacy initiatives) AND $530,000 going to the School District for a variety of programs! This includes $50,000 “for implementation of a marketing campaign showcasing public education” (I am not making that up)

All right, I admit it: this is not an exciting meeting. But they have to do this stuff! Government can’t go around with untied shoe laces!

Let’s just move on.

2:30 p.m. – Land Use & Economic Development Committee

People, people, people … you’re not being Green enough, and this committee has to set you straight.

First of all, you’re not saving enough water: so Michela Alioto-Pier and Carmen Chu are going to raise your water rates until you can’t afford to bathe in your own tears. Their proposal would allow landlords to pass along significant portions of increased water rates to renters “to provide incentives for the conservation of water.”

Huh – and here I always thought “incentives” were rewards for good behavior rather than punishments for what you’re already doing. But I guess I was wrong. Although, come to think of it, this bill does reward good behavior on the part of the landlords, who get to pass even more of the water rates along to renters if they install conservation devices. Renters who install conservation devices get zip.

Second of all, you’re too dusty: so Supervisors Maxwell, Peskin, Ammiano and Dufty are proposing an amendment to the building code that would require all construction activities “that have the potential to create dust” to follow new “dust control measures” – even if what you’re doing doesn’t require a permit. (I love these measures that require you to do stuff even if what you’re doing is admittedly none of the government’s business.)

Ironically, one of the things you’ll have to do is “provide as much water as necessary to control dust.” Wait … aren’t we SAVING water?

Maybe if you rent stuff; but if you build stuff, you’re required to use even more of it. Among other things that “dust control plans” are supposed to include are: “wetting down areas around soil improvement operations, visibly dry disturbed soil surface areas, and visibly dry disturbed unpaved driveways at least three times per shift per day.”

Thirdly, the buildings you build with all the extra water aren’t green enough, so Hizzoner the Mayor is proposing mandatory green building requirements on most new residential buildings, all new commercial buildings that are 5,000 square feet or more, and most modifications to buildings of 25,000 square feet or more. These new standards would, according to a report prepared by the Building Inspection Committee, cost the city economy anywhere from $30 million to $700 million (um … guys? This is not a helpful range) and will reduce the city’s greenhouse gas emissions by just oodles and oodles – “further(ing) the goal of reducing the City and county of San Francisco’s greenhouse gas emissions to 20 percent below 1990 levels,” although I can’t find an actual number. (Guys? Could’ja help me out with this?). It would also require a lot of extra work.

So to be clear, the message of the committee is: use less water except when you’re using more water to create less dust except when you’re creating more dust by making green buildings.

Got it?

I bet you feel greener already.

Tuesday, July 8, 2 p.m. – Full Board of Supervisors

It looks like the Supes are going to accept proposed charter amendments to hold city elections in even numbered years, increase the number of signatures needed to recall a Supervisor, prohibit city employees from serving on charter boards and commissions, and to create an “Independent Ratepayer Advocate to review and recommend utility service rates proposed by the San Francisco Public Utilities Commission”; but reject his proposals to have an appointed city treasurer and create public works commission.

Other than that, same shit different week.

Wednesday, July 9

1 p.m. – Budget & Finance Committee

The Mayor’s much talked about plan to transfer $5 million from the Election Campaign Fund to the General Fund comes up at this meeting. Curiously, he also has a proposal to appropriate $6.1 million from the General Fund to pay for a new voting system and Department of Election services.

Soooooooo … he’s planning to gut the public campaign financing system in order to pay for an improved election system. In essence, he wants fewer candidates who we’re able to vote more securely for.

That’s one way to have a Democracy … I guess.

Do you think he has any specific candidates in mind? Because that would save us the trouble of picking them ourselves.

The other significant fact to come out of this meeting is that fees are going to go up. I’ve mentioned that before, haven’t I?

1 p.m. – Rules Committee

The charter amendments go marching 1 by 1 hurrah, hurrah …

The charter amendments go marching 1 by 1 hurrah, hurrah …

The charter amendments go marching 1 by 1, the little one stopped to eliminate the reference to the number of staff members provided for members of the Board of Supervisors …

… okay, this meeting is not very musical.

It’s got 8 proposed charter amendments, though. There should be a song about that. Maybe: “You had a bad day”? Or “Hey hey we’re the monkeys”?

Anyway, proposed charter amendments would indeed eliminate the reference to the number of staff members provided for Supes, plus:

• Create a landmark preservation board
• Allow retirement system credit for time spent on unpaid parental leave
• Eliminate the police department’s “minimum staffing requirement”
• Promote and Sustain Music and Culture in San Francisco (more on this later)
• Clarify the powers and responsibilities of the Commission on the Environment
• Save the planet by making San Francisco just the greenest city ever
• Force ballot initiatives to identify funding sources before being put to the public

Ah ballot initiatives! They're one way to have a democracy … I guess.

Thursday, July 10, 10 a.m. – Rules Committee

And we’ve got MORE ballot initiatives. Theme song for the meeting: “it’s the end of the world as we know it.”

These ballot initiatives would:

• Define and prohibit tenant harassment (once we define something as “harassment,” do we ever approve of it?)

• Make a Declaration of Policy concerning the funding for the deployment of U.S. troops in Iraq (gosh, are we for it or against it? The suspense is killing me!)

• Create a medical “treatment on demand act” (I dunno … San Franciscans can be pretty emanding …)

• Install PG&E “smart meters” (If they’re so smart, why are they working for PG&E?)

• Rewire the San Francisco Transportation Authority (If I were so smart, I’d have a joke about this)

• Fund the Mayor’s Community Justice Center (if THIS doesn't work, he's going to open the thing in his office and personally provide housing, job help, and substance abuse counseling).

And that's a week, kids. Excited yet?