A news blurb on Page 10 of yesterday's Examiner caught readers' eyes, but not in the way its writers would want.

The "Newsmakers" section noted Attorney General Jerry Brown's opposition to Nestle's plan to pump 200 million gallons of water from natural springs that flow into the town of McCloud.

Okay, fair enough. But here's the kicker: Regarding the 200 million gallons, the article concluded "Brown's office says that's enough to fill 3.1 billion 8-ounce plastic water bottles."

One's first thought would probably be "that's a lot of water bottles." But, before too long, you might note, "Do I really need the Attorney General to tell me how many ounces are in a gallon?"

Put it this way: What if the story concluded "Brown's office says that's enough to fill 200 million gallon jugs of water." Pretty redundant, eh?

Also, confusingly enough, since a gallon is 128 ounces and Nestle wants to pump 200 million gallons, a little quick math reveals that this is enough water to fill 3.2 billion eight-ounce bottles, not 3.1 billion.

That's not a trivial difference -- in fact, it's enough to fill 100 million eight-ounce water bottles. -- Joe Eskenazi

NO? Um, well, too bad. The cost of fines under $90 will go up by ten starting tomorrow, and some will go up a lot more. Got a boot on your car? That will cost you $205 now, instead of the low, low price of $75. Here's the whole Examiner story. The increase was approved to help close a $15 million SFMTA deficit this year and $66 million deficit next year, so just remind yourself that you're helping the city if you need to look on the bright side of paying off your next non-moving violation. -Andy Wright

Yep, this poster has a "great" idea for you and three of your friends. It involves a chain restaurant that fetishizes a certain part of the female anatomy through a clever animal reference. Still not sure what it is? There are shiny, tiny, totally synthetic orange shorts involved.

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By Benjamin Wachs

Presumptive Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama will alight upon San Francisco for an Aug. 17 fundraiser, where he is expected to save us all.

According to the Obama For President campaign, this is likely his last stop in San Francisco prior to the General Election. They could not comment on whether the sun itself will depart the Bay Area when he does.

While ostensibly about raising money – individual tickets to the Obama reception at the Fairmont hotel run for $2,300 – many Bay Area progressives are hopeful that Obama’s trip to San Francisco will in fact cure leprosy.

“That would be consistent with his record in the Illinois State Senate,” said one activist. “Though he never studied to be a doctor – which would have put him too close to the medical lobby instead of the ordinary people of this country – he did once give Aspirin to a minority.”

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Tobias Wolff at the SF LGBT Community Center
San Francisco LGBT Community Center (Market St.)
July 29, 2008
Notes and Photos by Edward Paik

Tobias Wolff has around 10 days to convince Iowa. He knows that if he can’t help spread word of Barack Obama, the senator will have little chance for serious contention in the coming democratic caucus, let alone the primaries.

So the civil rights lawyer and professor from University of Pennsylvania tours the state, speaking on behalf of Mr. Obama’s (and his own) stance on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender issues, in his capacity as the then-Democratic contender's chief policy adviser.

Seven months later he’ll remember these events and retell his story on a Tuesday evening at the San Francisco LGBT Community Center, but for now Wolff is on his way to Sioux City from Des Moines, a three-hour drive.

Headed to the northwest corner of Iowa, near the South Dakota border, Wolff asks a companion and Sioux City campaign staffer the question he always asks before visiting new communities.

“Tell me, what are the LGBT issues are and what people are talking about in this area?” he asked. “Tell me what is it that folks [there] care about? What do they want to hear?”

Wolff remembers the response till this day.

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Understanding this satire of Mission street fashion requires deep SF pop culture knowledge. But the payoff is worth it. -Matt Smith

Whatiamseeing has a cool photo tour of Mission Bay and its structural progress.

Museum of Performance & Design design. Take a gander and vote yay or nay at Curbed SF. (My two cents: it looks like someone dropped the copy paper.)

SFist RIPs a mommy giraffe.

Do you care if this TV show is being re-made? I'm not sure I do, but dang, MDoug looks really intense in the photo on SF MetBlogs. -Andy Wright

There is something really sweet about this do-it-yourself signage that somebody pasted up in the Mission. First off, it looks like clip-art, which immediately brings to mind snuggly memories of elementary school bake sales. Secondly, it implies that the worst thing you can step on in the streets of the Mission is gum. -Andy Wright

Of all the fashion genuflection performed by bi-coastal hep-cats, none’s more baffling than the adoration of all things Nihon Jitensha Shinkōkai, the name of an obscure industrial council responsible for certifying special bicycle parts used in keirin, a racetrack betting industry in Japan.

This week the BBC appears to have given sense to this fashion mystery by implicating the Japanese keirin industry in an alleged Olympic bribery scheme. San Francisco’s hep-cats may achieve what had been otherwise unobtainable to this skinny, white, poindexter-glasses-wearing crowd: outlaw street cred…

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To collapsing banks and rising fuel prices, add laggard dockworkers to the plagues afflicting the U.S. economy.

As San Francisco-based negotiations drag on between the International Longshore and Warehouse Union (ILWU) and the shippers syndicate Pacific Maritime Association, (PMA) dockworkers have begun flexing their muscles by slowing down cargo traffic at west coast ports, reports the shipping newsletter Traffic World.

During mid July workers slowed car movement on 10 percent of ships, Traffic World quoted a PMA spokesman as saying. And on July 21, pace slowed on a quarter of ships, in an apparent show of force by union members keen on continuing their status as America’s most highly paid industrial laborers.

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I loves this headline at MissionMission blog.

FCJ has video of supe Peskin discussing the clean energy act.

Tenderloin is an historical district!

Hollaback SF needs a new moderator. Could it be you?

-Andy Wright

Yep, here's the sun dappled pic of Newsom and Seibel at their Montana wedding making the rounds on the internets. Here's Chron columnist Leah Garchik's take on the affair, and here's Willie Brown's notes (which have garnered a healthy 329 comments on SFgate thus far.)

-Andy Wright

By Benjamin Wachs

Monday, July 28, 2008

8:30 a.m. – A Very Special Rules Committee

This committee hearing is at 8:30 in the morning?

“Item #1: The Budget Analyst is hereby required to provide flapjacks and coffee. The strong stuff. None of this decaf chai crap. And also blueberries: the flapjacks must have blueberries. Except for Ammiano’s: he wants apples. Does the Mayor’s Office of Criminal Justice have any eggs?”

Okay, technically that’s not on the agenda. But, you watch.

The bulk of this meeting will be spent deciding whether or not to approve the Mayor’s appointees to the Public Utilities Commission. And you know what? I can’t keep track anymore. Are Ann Moller Caen, Richard Sklar, Francis X. Crowley, Nora Vargas, and Francesca Vietor the good guys or the bad guys? I don’t know. I think I used to know, but then I got distracted by this really fabulous gay wedding, and now all I can remember is that “Public Utilities Commission” used to be a band in the 80s: Really good date band. Danceable. Heavy bass line.

Shit, I don’t know. Why does something as important as the Public Utilities Commission have to be a political football anyway? Why can’t we decide these things the old fashioned way: A quest?

In fact, let’s do that: we’re going to take Supervisor Michela Alioto-Pier and place her in ring of fire. Whoever can use the power of Public Utilities to rescue her is hereby appointed to rule them.

And if nobody rescues her...is that really so bad?

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A few months back, I sat across former LA Times reporter Roy Rivenburg at Anaheim's Luigi's D'Italia and listened as he considered creating the ultimate Los Angeles Times parody - a rip off of the website itself.

This morning, Roy e-mails to say that after signing his life away to the project, he's put the finishing touches on his site. Not the Los Angeles Times is live and hilarious as hell with blogs like "Go to Zell," "The Not Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Blog," "Not Another Blog," "Yes, Another Blog," "Are You Kidding Me?" "No, We're Totally Serious..." "In Fact, Forget the Paper, Let's Just Blog."

Already it's being picked up all over the place: Harper's, Romenesko, Portfolio, LA Observed. Good going, Roy! That Zell gnome is beautiful. You guys can check it out here. --Janine Kahn

By Benjamin Wachs

It's just a matter of time before Fred Flintstone appears on America's Most Wanted, and nobody thinks it's ironic.

We're not that far off.

First there were the Danish cartoons of the Prophet Mohamed (peace be upon him) that were used as an excuse for rioting across large swaths of the world.

Then it was the New Yorker Cover that sent Democrats into hysterics not seen since the publication of Freud's cold case file.

(Incidentally, the arch-conservative Weekly Standard published a parody cover of the New Yorker's parody cover that is, sadly, much funnier than the original).

And now an obscure Dutch cartoonist has been thrown in jail and is facing charges of creating insensitive cartoons after what authorities describe as a 3-year investigation.

I'm going to repeat that last part for emphasis: A 3-year investigation. Of a cartoonist. One can only imagine the forensic evidence. ("Imaginary tiger footprints lead us to believe Hobbs was involved. Also, does anybody understand this Far Side cartoon? Why are the cows funny?")

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