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Gigantic Putin Officiates at Presidential Inauguration, Climbs Kremlin

Wed May 07, 2008 at 12:02:11 PM

Giant%20Putin.jpg
Pool photograph by Vladimir Rodionov

Standing a full 9-foot-7, outgoing Russian president Vladimir Putin presided over the today's inauguration of his favored son, Dmitry Medvedev. Putin's scene-stealing speech — he warned his foes they would soon have a size-30 boot in their asses — points to his continued hand (and foot) on the reins of government.

The inauguration (complete with a set of dwarf soldiers in adorable Crimean War-era uniforms sans gangrene) was an eye-opener for the West. Previously, we knew Medvedev was young (42) and loves Black Sabbath. Now we also know he's short — why, it's as if he'd fit right in Putin's pocket! Ho, ho ho!

In other news, The New York Times continued its arcane insistence on using middle initials: That'd be Vladimir V. Putin and Dmitry A. Medvedev. This, theoretically, clears things up for readers: "No, no, no, this is an article about Vladimir V. Putin. Not that other guy — we do get that a lot!"

Incidentally, the "V." stands for Vladimirovich; the "A." for Anatolyevich. That ought to clear things up.

— Joe Eskenazi

Category: Media, Politics

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