And For Dessert: Several Felonies

Everyday the Examiner posts an SF police blotter with short descriptions of about four or five crimes committed in the past 24 hours. The offenses are usually banal, but this particular entry, about an angry customer at a restaurant, caught my eye.

"Officers responded to a restaurant on the 800 block of Post Street regarding an assaulting customer at 2:15 p.m. April 15. The officers arrived to find a 38-year-old man crouching behind a table."

Crouching? Go on.

"The caller said the customer disputed his bill and head-butted him."

You had me at head-butted!

"As the officers attempted arrest, the suspect kicked one of the officers in the face, causing a severe nosebleed. The suspect was apprehended and charged with several felonies including assault on a police officer."

Kicked in the face? Like, a roundhouse kick? Does anybody know where Chuck Norris was last night? -Andy Wright