San Francisco Blog

Case in point: how much should an “Airport K-9 Explosives Detection Team Program” really cost? Keep in mind, this includes handler salaries, handler overtime, handler uniforms (laundry), k-9 food, k-9 veterinary care, k-9 kenneling, vehicles, vehicle care and maintenance, handler training/travel, explosives training/travel, and more. (k-9’s have their own vehicles?)

$500,000? A million? Two million? Actual retail price(according to one budget item): $849,126.

Now who came closest without going over? You get to spin the big wheel.

How about this? “enhancing the capacity of San Francisco to implement an effective continuum of response to juvenile crime and delinquency?” How much should that cost?

In fact, what the heck is that?

Apparantly it involves “enhance(ing) the capacity of county probation, mental health, drug and alcohol, and other county departments to provide appropriate rehabilitative and supervision services to youthful offenders.”

Well, that sounds good. We’re getting a grant to do that for $287,150. I guess kids cost a lot less than dogs. Of course, dogs can sniff bombs. They’ve definitely got that going for them. Also, they’ve got their own vehicles.

Turn in next week for more Public Safety Price is Right.

1 p.m. – Land Use and Economic Development committee

This meeting agenda starts with the words “Changing the official sidewalk width – Mission Street” … and I kind of lost consciousness after that.

It sure sounds dramatic, but, in fact it’s just a standard adjustment to the North side of Mission between 3rd and 4th streets to allow the “Contemporary Jewish Museum” to accommodate passenger unloading around Jessie Street.

Because you know how much unloading could happen around the Contemporary Jewish Museum. I mean, where else are people going to go to find contemporary Jews?

Not that any of this is the Supervisor’s problem – they’re just altering the width on a … um … really major street. But they have to: if people want to see contemporary Jews, no force on earth can stop them.

Next on the agenda: limiting sidewalk flower vending permits. Man, those people have to be stopped. They’re MUCH more annoying than smelly people asking for change, “activists” who think you’re killing the planet this very minute, and scientologists.

Yep, definitely the flower vendors who need to be reined in.

Can we have a permitting process for sidewalk “stress-tests” next?

There’s a lot more going on at this meeting, all of which I will sum up in one word: housingzoningspecialdistrictgeneralplan.

If wrangling over special use districts, zoning map amendments(for Laguna, Haight, Buchanon, and Hermann Streets),and endless wrangling over the planning code for Market and Octavia are your bag, this is so your meeting.

You know: same-old same-old.

Tuesday, March 25, 2 p.m. – Full Board of Supervisors

There’s an old joke among the journalists who cover City Hall that the one thing they’ll never see the Board of Supervisors do is hold a short meeting.

Man, those guys will do ANYTHING!

Yep – it’s short and sweet today. The Supes will revisit some old favorites like construction on airport terminal D and standards of care for city shelters (I still want to know: what the hell kind of contract for running a shelter doesn’t include performance standards in the first place?); they’ll play a few of their greatest hits like amending the Landmark Tree ordinance approving mortgage revenue bonds for senior housing on Geary, and they’ll once again try out their controversial headline grabber “Disability access Projects for the Board of Supervisors Chamber.”

It’s almost enough to make me want to show up. But, I think there’s a Law & Order re-run, or … something.

Wednesday, March 26, 1 p.m.. – Budget and finance Committee

It’s another Big Number day for the budget committee. Of course, now that we’re in budget season during an election year, every day’s going to be a Big Number day for the budget committee. Look for a near endless stream of hearings about the Mayor’s proposals and the current budget status: I count 5 at this meeting alone.

But even so, some of the individual items are eye popping. I’m not talking about the $75,000 proposed for “preservations survey work” on Market and Octavia (who wants to bet they’re going to try and preserve EVERYTHING? Anybody?) . And I can even make my peace with just over $31 million in “Library General Obligation Bonds” because … because … Well, because the voters approved over $100 million last year on the “acquisition, renovation, and construction of branch libraries and other library facilities, other than the main library” – and I’m sure they knew what they were doing. I mean, San Francisco voters wouldn’t just go and approve a massively expensive set of feel-good building projects without careful consideration and a comprehensive analysis of what our city’s library needs really are, would they?

Nah.

But then we come to over $262 million for the Water System Improvement Program (WSIP), and, I admit it, I feel a little faint – like that time they tried to change the width of Mission Street.

I can’t complain about it because I’m big on potable water, and if that’s what it costs to perform 73 water system repairs and upgrades, then I guess we have to do it: it’s a nuts-and-bolts city issue.

Still, I can’t help wondering: what would Bob Barker say the actual retail price is?

Also, is it really necessary to put us in debt by $262 million AND increase our water rates to pay for the project?

To quote from the Budget Analyst’s report:

“(W)ater rates for the PUC’s retail customers will increase 15 percent on July 1, 2008. … based on current projections, the PUC will be seeking Commission approval to increase retail rates further by 15 percent effective July 1, 2008, followed by 10 percent annual increases in FY 1010 – 2011 through FY 2013 – 2014, and four percent annual increases in FY 2014-2015 and FY 2015 – 2016.”

In total (according to their handy chart) the monthly water rate for a single family residential unit will go from $23.10 this fiscal year to $38.25 by 2014 – 2015.

Like I said: eye-popping numbers.

Now, call me crazy, but, if we’re going to spend hundreds of millions of dollars upgrading the system anyway … couldn’t we also try and make it more efficient?

Nah – you’re right. Crazy talk. Stay tuned: after the break, Drew Carey will have some fabulous showcases.