Dude Who Torched Burning Man Effigy Pleads No Contest to Firework Possesion

Paul David Addis, the guy who stands accused of torching last year's Burning Man effigy four days too early, pleaded no contest to fireworks possession on Tuesday, according to an article in today's Chronicle. Addis was arrested outside Grace Cathedral with a backpack full of the contraband on Oct 28, and reportedly said to his neighbor that morning the cathedral "isn't going to be there anymore." Tip to potential arsonists: try not to give foreboding, ominous messages to the neighbor en route to your intended target. Addis has been ordered to "undergo counseling and stay away from the cathedral." God has withheld comment, but insiders say that he "enjoys a sweet firework show" from time to time. –Andy Wright