The Orgasmatron Is Coming

In about three or four years, women will be able to purchase a device called … wait for it … the Orgasmatron. Gizmodo reports on the invention of one Stuart Meloy (who apparently has a sense of humor when it comes to naming) which provides women with a "100 percent real orgasm." The device is about the size of an Altoids box, presumably sans minty freshness, and has two thin wires that attach to the spine and stimulates the nerves responsible for getting women across the finish line. Meloy has created a similar device that produces erections and "powerful ejaculations" in previously impotent men. Rumors that Meloy is a magical wizard have gone unsubstantiated. The price tag for your orgasms? $12,000. I'll be sticking to the free packets of lube they fork out at the Folsom Street Fair.— Andy Wright