Ten Better Lies for Online Cheating Than 'I Was Attacked!'

Categories: Crime

UFO.jpgA San Mateo woman, Karyn Galila, was sentenced to 90 days in jail yesterday after she filed a false police report claiming five men had raped her at gunpoint . An article in the Chronicle today says she fabricated the story to explain to her husband why she had arrived home late from a meeting with a man she had recently met online. You know what sucks? When, every once in awhile, a woman lies about rape and then jackass misogynists cling to that one story with the very edges of their fingernails, dusting it off and trotting it out every time a rape case makes the headlines. Just so we can avoid this in the future, I have compiled a handy list of the 'Top 10 Lies for Online Cheating Better than 'I Was Attacked!'

1. Look over there! (Run away.) (click 'more')

2.UFO's abducted me! (Old favorite. Research: Fire in the Sky.)
3.I was taking a Free Stress Test.
4.I was busy buying drugs.
5.I went momentarily blind and couldn't drive.
6.I had to sober up before getting behind the wheel.
7.I hit someone on the way home and had to heave the body over the safety railing by myself. (Could be used in conjunction with number six.)
8.I was watching re-runs of Full House on YouTube and lost track of time. (True story.)
9.There was a long line at the clap clinic.
10.I'm not late, you're late.
-Andy Wright

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