Shhhh, It's a "Secret Cafe!"
Gridskipper reports yesterday that San Francisco's food scene and hipsters' proclivity to introduce exclusivity into every aspect of their life has finally produced "Secret Cafes." The cafes are described as "nomadic kitchens with migratory cooks" that "can break free from a constraining menu." One assumes you can break free from health code violations, too. The cafes meet in a variety of venues including lofts and peoples homes and after dinner you might be treated to something "artsy"! Oh, also, there will be coat-checkers and "ego-petting." Score! A sample menu includes several items I would have to Wikipedia before eating: early girl-aubergine-filbert-puree, pimenton, and crooknecks are just a few of the foodstuffs that sound like they were scratched off J.K. Rowlings short list of names for fake shit. Has anybody ever actually been to one of these Secret Cafes? Are they as God awful pretentious as Gridskipper would lead us to believe? At the cost of about $50 a head, I'll be starting my own Secret Café soon. Meet me at an undisclosed location with a twelver of Pacifico and a tolerance for unfiltered social one-upsmanship.-Andy Wright