San Francisco Blog

Three of these people are still on the Florida school board

by Benjamin Wachs

Yesterday the Florida school board voted 4-3 to acknowledge what everybody already knows.

Man is descended from monkeys who didn't know any better. All right? Everybody clear on that?

Well, not “everybody” — instead of labeling it the “theory of evolution,” the school board compromised and called it the “scientific theory of evolution.” Because that just … you know … um …

Wait, what?

“Department of Education officials floated the last-minute revision Friday in the face of mounting opposition from religious conservatives who said the proposed standards were too dogmatic in their treatment of evolution,”

Ohhhhhh … I get it. The “scientific theory of evolution” means there’s wiggle room – if you don’t believe in science.

Which is still SO up in the air. Now go learn, you crazy kids!